Page 82 of Tiny Fractures

She glowers at me a second longer, and I hold her gaze, knowing full well she isn’t going to do shit to me with my dad home and Cat next to me. That doesn’t mean I won’t pay for this later, of course.

“So Cat, what do your parents do?” my dad asks.

I exhale quietly, dropping my head. I really don’t want to stand here chatting with my parents. I want to take Cat up to my room where it’s safe, where she’s not exposed to my mother, where I don’t run the risk of her finding out about the shit that haunts my life. And yeah, I want to kiss her in peace for five minutes before we head out and I won’t get to enjoy her undivided attention.

“My dad teaches high school math and my mom is a psychiatrist,” Cat says. I lift my head to look at her while she speaks, memorizing her beautiful features. “My mom mostly works with combat veterans, primarily in the crisis setting.”

“That’s great,” my dad says in his deep voice, fully invested in his conversation with Cat. “I don’t know if Ran told you”—he glances at me quickly—“I work intelligence in the Air Force.”

Cat nods. I never actually told her exactly what my dad does in the Air Force because I honestly have no clue other than it’s classified and he’s always gone.

“I see our guys come back from deployment all the time completely messed up. Good for your mom specializing in that area. It’s very much needed and appreciated,” my dad says, smiling, his hands on his hips, standing up straight. I would be able to tell he’s military even if he wasn’t my dad, just by the way he stands: straight-backed, his legs slightly spread—the power stance, as he calls it—hands usually on his hips or behind his back. He’s 6’4” and all muscle, and I remember thinking my dad was Superman when I was three or four years old because I could have sworn he looked just like him with his brown hair and tall, muscular frame. But I quickly realized he was anything but Superman, because Superman would surely have saved me from my mother’s abuse.

“Dad, if you don’t mind,” I interrupt, “I still have to finish packing, and Tori and Shane should be here any minute.” I look at the watch on my right wrist while gripping Cat’s hand tightly in mine.

“Oh, yeah, of course,” he says, and disappointment crosses his face. I know I’m not giving him an opportunity to be part of my life, and maybe that makes me a shitty son, but somewhere along the way I closed that door in an act of self-preservation.

I turn around and lead Cat out of the kitchen and up the stairs to my room, where I close the door behind us. I slip my hand out of Cat’s, but only to take her face into both of my hands before pressing my lips to hers. Her fingers slide under the bottom of my shirt and up my naked back when I slip my tongue into her mouth, tasting her. I give myself a good minute to kiss her, allowing her to kiss me back, to lose myself in her, feel her hands on my skin and forget everything around me.

I pull back slowly, and Cat blinks her eyes at me. I chuckle at her spacey expression. She looks high as hell, and I understand the feeling. Being with her, kissing her, feeling her has the exact same effect on me.

“I’m glad you’re home,” I say, still holding her face in my hands.

“Why haven’t you told your parents about us?” she asks out of left field.

My face falls and I let go of her. She studies me, expecting an answer. I take her hands into mine, and my eyes lock on hers because I need her to understand that she’s not the reason for my secrecy.

“Baby, please don’t think this has anything to do with how I feel about you. You are the absolute best part of my life. I hadn’t told my dad about us yet because since I met you, I’ve seen my dad once, and that was in the beginning when we were keeping things quiet. And I haven’t told my mom because”—I sigh heavily, trying to choose my next words wisely—“because she and I aren’t really that close.” I clench my teeth, hoping that’s enough to put Cat at ease.

She studies me a few seconds more, and I begin to tense at her lack of a reaction. Then she steps closer to me, lifts her head, and kisses me softly. “I’ve missed you,” she says against my lips, then steps back. I’m relieved to see a smile on her face.

There’s a knock on the front door, and I hear my dad boisterously greet Shane and Tori just moments later.

“Let’s go,” I say, excitement bubbling up inside me at the prospect of being around her for the next few days. I pick up my backpack before taking Cat’s hand to lead her down the stairs.

Steve and Vada saunter down the stairs behind us; Vada giggles while Steve whispers something into her ear. My dad chats animatedly with Shane and Tori while I grab the tent and my sleeping bag and stow it in Shane’s Jeep.

“We’re heading out,” I announce once Steve and I have everything packed in the cars. I take Cat’s hand, ready to leave out the front door behind Shane and Tori. “Glad you’re home, Dad. Too bad you can’t stay longer,” I ramble, and follow Cat out the door. He’ll never know how much I mean those last few words.

I follow Cat out to the car, unable to stop my wandering eyes as they follow the swaying motion of her firm ass. I open the door to Shane’s Jeep, and Cat slides in behind Tori, buckling her seatbelt while I walk around the back of the car and slip in next to Cat.

Cat’s hand finds mine, and our fingers intertwine.

We hit the road, and it’s quiet in the car as Tori connects her phone with the car’s Bluetooth. Some indie band starts playing in the background while she and Shane chat it up in the front, but I have no interest in their conversation and instead face Cat.

“How was softball camp?” I ask and notice her face fall, though she quickly composes herself.

“Really good,” she nods.

“Yeah?” I study her, trying to get to the bottom of the momentary look of anguish in her eyes.

“Yeah, really good,” she tells me, more cheerful now. “We won both scrimmages and I ran two bases on a fly ball from Vada.”

I chuckle at her. “Okay, I have no idea what that means, but it’s obviously good, so good job, baby,” I say, and she grins. “But did anything bad happen? You had a look on your face.”

Her hazel eyes are wide for a moment as she wavers, but then she shakes her head. “I just… I really missed you,” she tells me, and I have a hard time analyzing her. I note the obvious sadness in her eyes, although there seems to be something else. Shame?

“I missed you, too,” I tell her, meeting her gaze. I want her closer to me, so I push the button of her seatbelt and unlatch it.

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