Page 10 of Finding Hope

One Year Later

“My sister has a boyfriend,” Jonathon said as he walked into Shannon’s place.

“Um, okay. Is that a bad thing? You said yourself that you wanted your sister to have a life.” Shannon wrapped her arms around Jonathon’s waist and smiled up at him. “What’s he like? Have you met him?”

“I met him, briefly. He seems nice enough, but no one is ever going to be good enough for my sister. Shan, he’s got tattoos that cover both arms and he rides a motorcycle. He seems rough around the edges, but it’s obvious that he is so into my sister. I’ve never seen her smile so much.” When he’d asked his sister for Cash’s last name, she refused to give it to him. All he wanted to do was make sure the guy wasn’t a felon. Was that so wrong?

“Jonathon, that’s great. You’re always worrying about her and that she doesn’t go out, and now you don’t need to.”

He bent down, kissing Shannon’s lips, finding comfort in the softness of them. Their arrangement this past year couldn’t be any more perfect. She didn’t expect him to take her out; she didn’t blow up his phone wondering where he was and what he was doing. Honestly, he had been the one to usually initiate conversations via text messaging or calls.

He loved the way she leaned into him when they kissed. She was so short compared to him, but fit against him perfectly. He felt something against his ankle, and when he looked down, he noticed it was Shannon’s cat, Felix. Jonathon bent down and picked up the big fur-ball and held him close. It wasn’t until about six months ago that the cat finally warmed up to him. Before that, every time he was over, the cat would hiss at him and then run and hide.

After scratching Felix behind his ear, he placed the fur-ball on the ground and then pulled Shannon to him. “I’ve missed you.” He hadn’t seen her for three days because he took Josie camping for the weekend.

“I missed you too. Did Josie have a good time camping with her daddy?” He reached out, stroking Shannon’s lightly freckled cheek. He realized what he was doing and pulled his hand away quickly. He couldn’t miss the hurt that flashed in her eyes or the fact that she hid it just as fast as it appeared. Jonathon knew he needed to break things off and soon. Not because he didn’t care about her, but because he was starting to care too much.

Every night he was with her and he left her, guilt cloaked him like a wet blanket. He needed to let her go so she could find someone who could love her the way she deserved to be loved. It killed him inside knowing it wasn’t going to be him.

He was a selfish man, though, and he was going to hang on to her as long as possible. With that last thought, he picked her up and carried her to her room where he was going to bury himself so deep inside her that neither of them would be able to see straight.

Chapter Six

Shannon

“No. This can’t be happening.” Shannon stared at the positive pregnancy test in her hand and then over to the edge of the bathtub where the other three positive tests taunted her. They were always so careful and she was on the pill. She needed to tell him right away. When she first realized her period was late, she had hoped that it was just from stress. The stress she brought on herself, by falling in love with a man who wanted nothing more than sex from her.

Jonathon seemed to be pulling away from her lately and she knew it was her fault. She was becoming too clingy. Shannon was probably doing a piss poor job hiding the fact that she was in love with him. Now she was having his baby. “Fuck.”

Shannon grabbed her phone after she washed her hands and texted her best friend Kasey, asking her to come over. It was about six months ago that she finally admitted to her about Jonathon. Kasey had hated him ever since. She reminded Shannon all the time that she deserved better than to be used the way he was using her. Maybe she was right.

She was sitting in the living room when Kasey showed up. “Okay, girl, what’s going on?”

Kasey sat down next to her on the sofa and Shannon grabbed a test off the coffee table and handed it to her best friend. “Holy shit,” Kasey whispered. “What are you going to do?”

“I want this baby, Kas. He’s going to think I did this on purpose, isn’t he?”

Kasey jumped up from the sofa. “If he does, I don’t care if he is a cop, I’ll kick his ass. I hate to say it, Shannon, but I told you to break it off with him. This ‘relationship’ you have going isn’t healthy. He’s using you.”

Shannon hung her head because she knew what Kasey said was true. No matter how much she hoped and prayed that Jonathon would fall in love with her, she knew that it was never going to happen. He wasn’t lying when he told her that he believed Alex was his one and only because every now and then he felt he needed to remind her—that was how he felt. Every time he said it, her stupid, dummy heart broke just a little bit more.

She rested her hand over her still flat stomach and closed her eyes. Shannon wanted this baby so much, but she was scared to death. There were special things that she would need. Stuff to help let her know when the baby was crying. Great, she was panicking already. When she opened her eyes, Kasey was eyeing her with concern.

“Shan, don’t freak out. You’ve got a long way to go before it’s time to think about stuff. When are you going to go tell him?”

“Today. The sooner the better.”

Kasey made her promise to call her after she was done at Jonathon’s. Shannon agreed and as soon as her best friend left, she texted him, asking if she could come over. She didn’t know what he would say because she’d never been to his place before. Hell, a year later and she still hadn’t met Josie or Tessa, his sister. He did tell her she never would, but a small part of her hoped he’d change his mind.

While she waited for him to answer, she went into the bathroom to fix her hair and wash her face. Her hands were trembling too badly for her to put on any makeup, so she went au natural. She paced her living room while she waited for Jonathon to respond. When her phone dinged, she ran to it and picked it up.

Jonathon: Why?

Shannon: I promise I won’t take up much of your time. I’ll be gone before your sister and daughter get home.

Jonathon: Okay. Sure.

Shannon grabbed one of the tests and stuck it in her pocket.

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