Page 9 of Finding Hope

“I’m sorry those dumbass kids were making fun of you.”

“Jonathon, it’s seriously okay. I’m used to it.” She took a bite of her sundae. “What did you want to talk about?”

“I want to apologize for last week. I was an asshole and I hurt you. Five years ago, my wife died from cancer.” Shannon’s eyes immediately filled with tears. “I don’t date. It’s nothing personal, it’s just right now my priority is my daughter. I like you, Shannon, and I freaked. It wasn’t you, it was me. I won’t lie. I’ve had sex, but it’s been random and infrequent and when you kissed my forehead, that little act of intimacy made me react poorly. I know I’m probably over-sharing, but I wanted to be honest with you and I just wanted to lay all of my cards out on the table.” He grabbed her hand. “Alex was my soul mate, my one and only. If you were willing, I’d love to continue things with you. I just don’t want you expecting more from me than I can or will give.”

He started to laugh, but it sounded painful. “I’m really not making this sound appealing, am I?”

The poor guy—she couldn’t imagine finding the love of her life and then losing them to a horrible disease. “I appreciate your honesty and I like you too. Can you give me a couple of days to think about it? If I agree to this, I want your promise that you won’t treat me like you did last time.”

“I swear that I won’t treat you like that again, but Shannon, you need to be okay with the fact that I won’t be sleeping over. Maybe we’ll go out to dinner every so often, but there won’t be dates. I won’t be introducing you to my daughter. It’s not to be a dick, but I don’t want her confused.” He scrubbed his face with his hands. It was then that Shannon saw the bags under his eyes. “I know I’m such a dick about this, but like I said, I don’t want you getting the wrong idea. The sex was amazing and I’d like to continue sleeping together, but yes. Please think about it. Take all of the time you need and text me your answer.”

They sat in silence as they finished their frozen treats. Could she do it? Be involved with someone just for sex? Maybe she was being naïve, but she wondered if he’d change his mind. She was still going to think about it.

Chapter Five

Jonathon

“Tessa, this looks great.” Jonathon took the plate with a big helping of lasagna on it and sat down next to his daughter at the kitchen table. His phone was in his back pocket and it took all of his will power not to check it. It’d been two days since he met with Shannon and laid it all out to her. He honestly didn’t think he’d hear from her again. Who’d agree to get into a relationship—no, not relationship, but casual friends with benefits with a widower who was adamant that he wasn’t ever going to fall in love again?

“Josie, did you ask your dad your very important question?” Tessa sat down across from them, smiling at Josie.

“What’s up, baby girl?” His daughter looked like a miniature version of his sister. The only difference was Josie’s light brown hair. Other than that, they had the same brown eyes, and tall slender builds. Jonathon’s little girl was tall for her age and athletic. He wished she looked like Alex, but maybe it was good she didn’t. It would make it hard to look at her all the time and see his wife.

“Well, they’re having a career day next week and I want you to come. Can you?”

He reached out and stroked his hand down her hair. “Sure, baby girl. I’d be honored.” Tessa set the slip of paper in front of him and he picked his day and time and signed it. They finished their dinner as Josie talked about school and the book his sister bought for her.

He was washing the dishes from dinner when he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He grabbed the towel and dried his hands off. With eager anticipation, he pulled his phone out of his back pocket. Shannon’s name appeared and he swiped at the screen to open it up.

Shannon: Okay, let’s do it.

That was all he needed to see. He quickly typed back that he would see her in an hour. Good, now he had someone to go to if he had an itch to scratch. Jonathon would just have to tread lightly and if it seemed at all like she was falling for him, he’d break it off. He found his daughter coming out of her room in pajamas.

“Daddy, will you come tuck me in?”

“Yes, sweetheart. Go brush your teeth and I’ll be there in a minute.” He watched her disappear into the bathroom. Moving down the hall, he knocked on his sister’s door. “Tess?”

She pulled open the door and smiled up at him. “What’s up?”

“I’m going to go out for a little bit. Josie is getting ready for bed. Is that okay? Can you watch her?”

“Of course that’s fine. Are you going to see a girl?” She didn’t bother to hide the hopefulness from her features. She wanted him to find someone, but just didn’t understand he had his shot at true love and it was gone.

“It’s a long story, but I shouldn’t be out too late.”

Down the hall, he entered his daughter’s room and found her lying in her bed with the blankets up to her waist. “Hi, Daddy.”

“Hi, baby. Sleep well, okay?” He pulled the blankets up under Josie’s chin and bent down to kiss her forehead. “I love you.”

“Love you too, Dad.” She snuggled into her covers. He turned off her bedside lamp and turned on her nightlight. Stepping into the hall, he shut the door, but left it open a crack just in case she needed her aunt.

Twenty minutes later, with freshly brushed teeth and condoms in his wallet, he made his way toward Shannon’s place.

Pulling up in front of her house, he saw her front door open as he stepped out of his car. Her hair was down in big curls and she was wearing little boxer shorts and a skimpy tank top. His cock started getting hard as he walked toward her. The minute he reached her, he picked her up in his arms and wrapping her legs around his waist.

Jonathon kicked the door shut behind him as he stepped inside. Their whole arrangement was going to work out great.

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