Page 161 of The Keeper

Bennet’s strong laugh filled the room, lightening the mood considerably. Much to my surprise, he planted a kiss on my forehead and Xavier’s. It felt like such a big brother thing to do.

“I’m going to salvage what’s left of my time with Hannah.” He walked toward the door. “Wheels up at eleven, mate.” With a final wave, he left.

Xavier pulled me into another tight hug, holding me as though he didn’t ever want to leave.

“Can I ask a favor, love?”

“Sure.”

He loosened his grip and leaned back to look at me. “Would you be okay reading through the diary we found today with me?”

I sucked in a breath, taken by surprise at his request. “Now?”

“Yes.” He rested his forehead to mine. “I know how difficult it’s been for you with the other entries and I want to be here with you for the next step. Will you let me?”

Of course I’d let him. But there’s a stronger reason why.

“I need you here, Xavier,” I whispered. “I need you with me for this.”

Charlotte’s Diary

Tori,

I’m sorry. If I ever let you read this before I get the courage to tell you in person, I’m sorry. I should have told you what happened at the bonfire. I should have warned you about Jordan.

I should have.

I should have.

I should have.

I did it to protect you. I did it so he wouldn’t come after you next. And he would have. He was hell bent on getting both of us. And he doesn’t like to hear the word no.

I’m so glad you were off with that rugby player. I’m so glad you weren’t anywhere near me when he came over and pulled me away from the rest of the party. You’re my little sister and I would do anything to keep you safe.

Anything.

And that’s why I pretended to be you. He didn’t even question it.

I know you like the aggressive type but this guy was different. It was like he was entitled to it. Like my body belonged to him just because he wanted it. I had no control over anything. But I let him do it because I didn’t want you anywhere near him. Adam warned me about him, too.

Poor Adam.

I wanted him to be my first.

He’s so sweet, Tori. I hope I can introduce you to him next summer. You’d really like him.

I hope I haven’t ruined my chance with him. I didn’t see him at the bonfire. After you found me, all I wanted to do was go back home. I still haven’t sent him a message yet. He must be so confused. I can’t deal with all that. Not now. It’s almost spring break and then finals are coming and the SATs and I have to maintain my grades and everything.

I can’t let anything else slip. I’ve already let too many things slip.

It’s so hard, Tori. I want to tell you everything. Will you hate me if I do? Will you think less of me? Will you look at me different? Will you be disappointed?

It’ll be okay.

I’ll be okay.

Mom made an appointment with Dr. Hainsby for me next week. Maybe she’ll prescribe something to help with how I’m feeling.

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