Page 75 of Complete Me

“What? That they think you’re cool? Or that there aren’t any other out, poly professors at the University of Washington?”

“Cool. I’m sure there is at least one other. It’s a huge school, and this is Seattle. But I’d lay odds that none of them have tenure.”

I startle as Kaino takes my hand and gives it a squeeze. “Then you’ll be the first. The trendsetter. You’ll show them all that it doesn’t matter who you love, or how many. Teaching excellence has nothing to do with gender or sexuality.” They lean in and kiss me softly on the lips. “And you are an excellent professor.”

I look at these two incredible people who’ve stolen my heart and wonder how I could ever deny either one. “I love you both. I choose to love you both. And I refuse to be ashamed of that. If it keeps me from tenure, I’ll find another university where it doesn’t matter.” The thought is daunting. I don’t really want to start over. But for these two beautiful people, I would do that and more.

26

Bjorn

“Oh, that was the money shot!”

I chuckle and kiss the side of Xander’s head before he drops it back on my shoulder and presses closer. I’m sure it’s less comfortable than he anticipated, what with all the button pushing and fist pumping I’ve been doing, but he’s nothing if not determined to snuggle. Kaino and I haven’t seen much of him over the past few weeks. It’s end of term, and Xander’s been swamped. So I’m here for all the closeness. Plus, he’s freaking cute when he’s trying to be a supportive gamer boyfriend. “Babe, I don’t think that means what you think it means.”

Xander sits up again, his brows drawn down in the cutest scowl. “It references a scene in film, or in this case, a video game, where the cost is high but the payout will also be high.”

I snort. “Okay. Sure.”

Xander’s scowl deepens. “Why? What do you think it means?”

“Watch this.” Kaino lines up a shot and fires. The scene goes into slow motion, and the camera follows the bullet, which goes through one target and then a second, downing them both.

“Oh shit! That was perfect!” I hold out a fist and Kaino bumps it with theirs. “Shot of the game.”

They grin at me. “So far. We still have hours left to play.”

With a dramatic harrumph, Xander picks up his book, retreating to the corner of the sofa. “I adore being ignored so you can shoot pretend bad guys in some country that doesn’t exist and solve some fictitious problem for higher ups that are a little too on the nose for our current political climate.”

I glance at Kaino, who looks at the clock and winces. “We have been playing for quite a while.”

When I see what time it is, it’s my turn to wince. By silent agreement, Kaino and I pause the game. “Sorry, babe.” I set my controller on the coffee table and crawl across the sofa to Xander. “We didn’t realize we’d been playing so long.”

He rolls his eyes and pretends to read his book, but he’s staring at the page, eyes unmoving. “Didn’t realize I was here, you mean.”

I take the book out of his hand, carefully putting his bookmark in place before shutting it and tossing it next to my controller. “Not possible.” I snuggle up next to him, wrapping him in my arms, and holding him close. “I always know where you are. You’re impossible to ignore.” I nuzzle his jaw and feel some of his tension ease.

“I’m feeling very left out again.”

It’s the “again” that stabs me in the heart. Being purposely left out is his biggest fear, and I’m not doing anything to ease that worry. “I’m sorry. Will you let us make it up to you?”

With a frustrated sigh, Xander turns toward me, hurt and annoyance in his expression. “You two have your video game and your shibari, and I’m trying to be part of your activities, but I don’t really see the point of video games. And I know I said I wouldn’t like being tied up, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to be part of that when you are.” His pale complexion turns berry red. “Unless that’s something you want to be for just the two of you.”

I can see how he would interpret our meditation sessions as Kaino and me purposely excluding him. Which, I suppose, we have been. But only because it seemed like something he wouldn’t be into. “Would you want to meditate with us? Kaino isn’t tied. It’s only me. You wouldn’t have to be either.”

Xander shakes his head. “No. I’m not much for meditation. But it’d be nice to say no thank you, rather than feel like you’re purposely waiting for me to be busy before you do that.”

I rub the back of my neck, feeling a little sheepish. “Well, we kind of were, but only because we didn’t want to schedule something we thought you wouldn’t want to do during times we were all together. We wanted to save those moments for stuff we all enjoy doing.”

He raises an eyebrow. “You mean like play video games for four hours straight?”

Fuck. “Point taken. Good intentions don’t mean shit. And you’re right, we should have asked and not assumed you’d say no.”

Kaino takes Xander’s hand and brings it to their lips. “We’ve honestly been meditating. Nothing more. And so far, we’ve only had three short sessions.”

I grin, bopping Xander on the nose. “Did that beautiful brain of yours think we were getting spicy? I promise you, I have boxer briefs on while we meditate.”

Xander squirms, still unsettled. “Of course you can be intimate when I’m not around.We already talked about that.” Yeah, I’m not so sure that’s true. At least when other things are making him feel insecure in our relationship. Maybe if we fix that, we can revisit the discussion. We should make sure we’re all on the same page before it ends up causing an argument. Xander fiddles with the collar of my T-shirt. “I know I’ve been busy over the past two weeks, with the end of the school year approaching, and we haven’t really had time to be together since the Gays Eating Garlic Bread in the Park event.”

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