Page 27 of Brightness

There were so many before her, but she was my last. The one forever engrained in my memory. Her rose tattoo that took up most of her left hip was dripping in blood as my disciples pulled her back against the Saint Andrew’s cross.

She was ready for her initiation.

Here, she would be welcomed by the men.

All of us.

As family, we are one.

They chained her to the cross as she panted with bated breath.

She was willing—I was able.

My breathing was rushed beneath my ram’s mask as I slid down my white pants, now wet from the water ceremony. I was first in line—it was an honor my father bestowed upon me for the first time. He was preparing me to take over from him as leader.

And I was prepared.

I was honored.

This was my calling.

I stepped up to her, my father by my side. Her eyes looked right at me, but she wasn’t looking at me. She was staring at the mask—the ram.

“Take her, son. But remember, emotion is useless. So, do whatever you need to. This is her initiation. To be a part of the farm, she needs to take whatever is thrown her way.”

I nodded, then stepped up to her with a smile on my face and eagerness in the pit of my stomach. I spread her legs, my cock ready and waiting for her as my hands snapped out, wrapping around her throat, gripping as tight as I could, and then…

“Void?”

I shake my head, ridding myself of my nightmare past. “I’m a fucking asshole, that’s who I am. I’ve done shit, Nycto. Bad shit. How can I ever be the man Ivy needs?”

Nycto exhales. “If your mind is going back to who you were at that farm… you’re not that guy anymore. You aren’t the man your father tried to turn you into. You’ve grown. Hell, if you’re feeling something for Ivy, doesn’t that prove it to you?”

Hesitating, I place my head in my hands. “Dash is trying to make a move on her.”

Nycto chuckles, then he exhales. “She only has eyes for you. If you let your newfound emotions get in the way of that, you’re gonna fuck it up with her.”

“I don’t know what the hell I’m doing, for fuck’s sake. I don’t know how to handle this shit. I don’t fucking like it.”

Nycto grins. “No one likes not being in control. You just have to figure out if Ivy is worth you dealing with your emotions, or if it’s better, for the lack of a better phrase, being void. No one can figure that shit out but you.”

I’m quiet for a moment as I think about how much I hated letting Ivy go with Tony. Allowing her to drive away was too much to bear.

Is Ivy worth this torment? You bet your ass she is.

“I don’t like her being there. Letting her leave was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do.”

“Then, I think you have your answer. If you can’t stand the thought of her being harmed—”

“Then she’s worth fighting for… even if half the fight is within me.”

Nycto leans over, slapping my shoulder. “Feelin’ better?”

I shake my head. “No. I’m fucking wrecked. Ivy’s still at Tony’s, and she’s there with motherfucking Dash while I’m trying to figure out this emotion bullshit. Goddamn, I need another drink.”

Nycto chuckles. “Okay, brother, let’s get something stiff.”

We stand to walk to the bar.

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