And Viridian…

A life that’s entirely new.

I push myself faster, my thighs burning.

Frustration courses through me, powering my legs. Why can’t I tell Viridian how I feel? Why can’t I answer any of his questions? If I could, it would free us both from this torment.

But if I did, what would I say? Would I tell him the truth, that I care for them both? That somehow, my heart belongs to both him and to Loren, at the same time?

No.

That wouldn’t do any good. He wouldn’t believe me. He’d think I was sparing his feelings. That it was merely a gross exaggeration to make some fragile peace between us.

I pause when I reach the tree line. But then I advance, even though my skirts get caught on the brambles.

I don’t care. I need to move.

To think.

Viridian and I will be wed, regardless. There’s nothing I can do to change that.

I’m not as resistant to it as I once was. Now, I can see a life with Viridian. A good life.

But I can also see a life with Loren, should both of us ever make it out of here. A quiet life. The life I’d always imagined for myself. But not the life that would set my soul free.

With Loren, I’d never leave Slyfell. I’d only ever see my little corner of the world. I’d only have control over my immediate circumstances, with no real power to effect change.

But with Viridian…

I’d see the world. Probably visit each of the five Courts. With Viridian, I would have a chance to do something that matters. I would have a chance to better the lives of countless humans, all over the kingdom. Despite my mortality shackling me, I’d feel so alive.

And I would do it with a male that I respect. A male that I enjoy talking to. A male whose companionship is enough to put a smile on my face.

A male that I can be myself with. My true self. Without having to put on a show.

Someone I can just exist with.

Before Viridian, I didn’t know that was even possible.

Now, I can’t imagine life without it.

How far am I willing to go to keep him?

I come to a stop.

How far am I willing to go to keep him? How much am I willing to sacrifice?

The truth is, even I can’t answer that question.

I have no idea how far I would go. How much I would give.

Death’s words fill the corners of my mind.

“When the time comes, you must choose. Choose life, without love, in a cursed land. Or choose death in the name of love, and sacred sacrifice.”

Chills trickle down my spine.

I have a sickening feeling that I won’t have long before I have to make that choice.