Page 30 of One Night

"Because that night we were together, I told him I'd write letters to the man I loved."

"So by writing him a letter, you're telling him you love him?"

"Well, not really, but he could interpret it that way."

"Do you love him?"

I laugh. "I met him one night. You can't fall in love that fast."

"Love at first sight?" His mouth curves up. "I haven't experienced it myself but I've heard it can happen."

I'm not going to admit it to Matt, but I did feel like that's what happened with Dylan. Like it was love at first sight. Why else would I have felt so strongly about him? And continued to feel that way even now, all these months later?

"There's another reason why I'm afraid to contact him," I say.

"What is it?"

"I lied to him. He didn't know I was here in Chicago. Until just recently, he thought I was living in New York."

"Kira didn't tell him you're her roommate?"

"I told her not to. And I asked her not to tell Austin either."

"So Austin had no idea you're the same Amber that Dylan was with that night?"

"No, but he found out a couple weeks ago. Austin came over to see Kira after she hurt her leg. She was asleep in her room so Austin and I hung out in the living room, talking. I thanked him for not telling Dylan about me, assuming Kira told him. The two of them are so close that I thought for sure she'd told him who I was, but it turns out she hadn't. As soon as Austin found out, he went and told Dylan."

"And Dylan didn't call you after that? Or try to see you?"

"No. Why would he? After what I did, I'm sure he wants nothing to do with me. Besides, he has a girlfriend now."

"Did Austin say Dylan was mad at you?"

"No, but I'm sure he is. He has every right to be. I knew he was looking for me and I never even tried to contact him. Now that he knows the truth, I want to talk to him and at least apologize, but I'm afraid he won't even listen to me."

"Do you want to see him again?"

"I've wanted to see him ever since I found out he was looking for me. I just haven't been able to make myself do it. Plus, I was with you, and I really was trying to make it work between us."

"I know you were," he says in a kind, understanding tone. "But you can't force what's not there."

I nod again.

"Amber, if you really think this guy might be the one, you have to take the risk. Even if you're afraid, even if you think he'll reject you, you have to at least try. If you don't, you'll always regret it."

He's right. I can't keep putting this off. I'm almost a hundred percent certain Dylan wants nothing to do with me, but we both need some kind of closure, or maybe just I do. Dylan's with someone else now, and he's probably happy with her, happy to no longer be looking for the girl who lied to him and left him with no answers. I'd like to think Dylan still has feelings for me, but Austin told Kira that Dylan didn't have much of a reaction when he found out I've been here in town the whole time. And as I told Matt, Dylan hasn't tried to contact me. That tells me he's moved on. He wants nothing to do with me.

But I still want to talk to him. Tell him I'm sorry. Tell him I never wanted to hurt him.

I want to tell him even more than that. I want to tell him how I feel and how that night was the best night of my life. Even if he never wants to see me again, I want him to know how much that night meant to me. How it changed me, and made me believe that maybe fate and true love really do exist, even if just for a fleeting moment.

Since that night, I've wondered if maybe it could be more than just a fleeting moment. What if that night...and all those feelings I felt...were real? What if Dylan really is the guy for me? What if it actually worked out between us?

There's this part of me that wants to find out. It's that part of me that was there that night, telling me to go with my gut and be with Dylan. It's still there, nagging at me to see if there could be more than a night between us.

I have to find out. I can't keep wondering.

So I guess I'm going to do this. But if I'm doing it, I'm going all out. If Dylan really is the guy for me, and that night wasn't just some strange cosmic force making us feel that way, then let the universe prove it.

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