Page 29 of One Night

"I don't get it. How would dating him ruin that night?"

"I was worried that if I dated him and it didn't work out, that the night we had together would've changed. I wouldn't remember it the same. I know that may sound totally stupid and completely irrational but there's this part of me that wants to believe in things like fate and destiny and true love. I know none of that probably exists in real life but I swear, that night, I felt it. I felt like all those things existed for those few brief hours and I didn't want to do anything that would take those feelings away. So I left."

"Why do you think that stuff doesn't exist? If you felt it that night, then there's your proof that it does exist."

"That night wasn't real. I don't know what was going on but I knew it would never happen again, which is why I wanted to preserve it as this perfect memory that I could keep forever. Untarnished by any other memories I had of Dylan. That's why I never talked to him again."

"And now you miss him."

I sigh, dropping my head in my hands. "Yes. Which doesn't make sense because I don't even know him. I mean, I know him through what Kira and Austin tell me but I don't personally know him."

Kira started dating Austin not long after she met him that night at the bar. Since he's good friends with Dylan, I made her promise not to tell Austin about Dylan and me. I still didn't want him knowing I was in town, Besides, I assumed he'd forgotten all about me. But then later I found out he'd written me a song. Kira was at a bar to hear Austin play and Dylan sang One Night. It's a song about the night we spent together. Kira found the song online and played it for me and that's when I realized Dylan felt the same way about me as I did about him. I've listened to that song a million times since then, and it brings tears to my eyes every time.

"Do you think he misses you too?" Matt asks.

I nod. "He wrote me a song, and in the lyrics, he said he wants to see me again."

"So what's stopping you?"

"Well, for one, he has a girlfriend."

"Are they serious?"

"I'm not sure but I know they've been dating for a while."

"What else is stopping you?"

"If I decide to contact him, I want to take things slow. I don't want to rush into anything, but I don't know if he'd be willing to do that."

"By slow, what do you mean?"

"I want romance. Gestures. Phone calls. Letters."

"Letters? Like handwritten letters?"

I laugh. "I know it sounds ridiculous but if Dylan really is the guy I'm supposed to be with and that night we had together really was fate or destiny, then this is the story I want for us. The slow build. The type of romance you read about in books or see in movies. I'm not sure it exists, but my whole life I've dreamed it was possible and I feel like this is my only chance to test if it's true. I've never felt this way about someone." I cringe. "Sorry, I shouldn't have said that."

"Don't worry about it. Like I said, I knew there was something missing in our relationship. And now I know what it was. You didn't feel that spark, that connection, with me, that you felt with Dylan. Don't feel bad about that, Amber. You can't force yourself to feel something that isn't there, so don't feel guilty about it."

"I still feel guilty," I say, looking down. "We were together for months. I shouldn't have waited this long to tell you how I felt but I really was trying to feel differently. I thought if I just gave it more time."

"So what are you going to do about Dylan?"

"I'm not sure. That's why I wanted your advice. But asking you this is so inappropriate I can't believe I even considered it. I'm sorry, Matt."

"Stop apologizing." He nudges my leg. "We're friends, right? So this is my advice."

I look up at him. "Yeah?"

"I think you should go to Dylan and tell him how you feel."

"I'm too embarrassed, and ashamed for running off like that."

"Then write him a letter."

"I've thought about doing that but I'm worried I'll scare him off."

"Why would that scare him off?"

---