Page 80 of Still Love You

I kiss her back. "You look really sexy in this dress."

"Thanks. I wore it just for you."

"Seems like something a girlfriend would do."

She doesn't respond as she scoots over on my lap.

I slide my hand up her leg and kiss her bare shoulder. She smells sweet and flowery. "Did you use one of our soaps?"

"Yeah. The almond lavender."

"You were supposed to wait and try it out with me."

"We'll try a different kind." She kisses me, slowly, her tongue going in my mouth. Then she whispers over my lips, "Let's go, so we can hurry up and get back." She gives me one last kiss, then gets up.

Between her kisses and her hint that we'll be doing a lot more than that later, Willow is acting like we're dating, and yet she refuses to admit it. It's starting to bother me. Maybe it's because of that talk I had with Trent. As much as I try to ignore what he said, his words keep replaying in my head, telling me Willow is just using me. Part of me knows he's right and that I'm stupid to think this will go anywhere. Despite that, I'm not ready to give up on her. But I do need her to stop denying the fact that we're more than friends.

When we get to Trent's place, I park along the street but remain in the truck.

"Willow." I hold her arm as she goes to open her door. "I need to say something before we go in."

"Go ahead." She turns to me, giving me her full attention.

"Tonight at the party, I don't want you telling people I'm your boyfriend. Unless that's really what I am."

She pauses, seeming surprised at my comment. "I um...wasn't going to tell people that. I know we're just friends."

"And yet every time a girl comes up to me, you tell her I'm yours. That I'm your boyfriend. But I'm not. We're not dating. Because you don't want that. Isn't that right?" I look in her eyes as I say it. I need her to answer me and be honest with both me and herself about what this is between us.

Playing the role of her boyfriend was fine at first, but I'm not doing it anymore. If she wants me to be her boyfriend in front of other people, then we need to actually be dating. And if that's not what she wants, then she needs to stop telling people we're a couple, because all that does is get my hopes up, only to be crushed later by her saying we're just friends.

"Silas, I don't want to have this conversation right now."

"Then when do you want to have it?" I keep my eyes on her, my face serious so she knows I'm not kidding around.

"I don't know." She faces forward. "I don't know why we even need to have it. Everything is going so well between us. Why ruin it by adding labels?"

"Willow, you're the one who keeps labeling me as your boyfriend, but only when you're using it to keep girls away from me. You, yourself, admitted that wasn't fair. You can't say you don't want to date me and then get mad when other girls show interest in me."

"So you want to date other people," she says quietly, glancing down.

"No." I reach over and hold her hand. "I only want to date you. But you won't let me."

"Silas, we spend all our time together. If you want to call that dating, then go ahead."

"I need you to call it that. I need to know this is more than just two friends hooking up."

She doesn't respond.

"Willow." I rub her hand and wait until she looks at me. "I love you. And I've made it clear that I want us to get back together."

She nods, and her gaze lowers.

I tilt her chin up, forcing her eyes back to mine. "I know you never thought I'd be back in your life so I realize you need time to think about this. But I can't wait all summer. And as you're thinking about what it is you want, I don't want you telling other people we're dating and then telling me we're not."

She swallows and shuts her eyes, then opens them again. "I can't commit to you, Silas. I just can't. Not right now." She pulls her hand from mine. "If you decide to date other people, I understand."

"That's not what I—"

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