Page 131 of Still Love You

"I'll take these." I grab the folding chairs.

He laughs a little. "Okay. Follow me."

I'm making a fool out of myself, but I don't care. I miss Silas and I just want a few minutes with him. Actually, I'd like to spend the rest of the day with him but that would be leading him on.

When we get to his truck, I hand him the chairs.

"Thanks," he says, setting them in the truck bed. The place where we had sex. Multiple times a night. Almost every night we were back together. The best sex I've ever had.

I'm heating up again, my heart racing being this close to him.

"I should tie these down," he says. "Could you grab the ties in the truck? They're on the floor in the front seat."

"Sure." I open the driver's side door and climb in the truck. As I'm picking up the ties, I notice a sweater in the back seat. A bright pink sweater. A girl's sweater.

He found someone. Silas is dating someone. Maybe it's that hairdresser. She really wanted to go out with him. Or maybe it's someone else. Maybe someone Trent set him up with.

My stomach clenches and my throat burns as I fight back the tears. I knew this would happen. I knew he'd find someone, but it still hurts.

"Willow, did you find them?" he calls out.

"Yeah." I hop out of the truck and give him the ties. "I need to go, but it was good seeing you."

"Yeah, okay." He seems confused by my sudden departure, but I scurry off before he can ask me about it.

"Ready to go?" my mom says when I get back to the booth. "Or is Silas taking you home?"

"Why would Silas take me home?" I ask harshly, now angry that he's dating someone. I know he's single, but couldn't he wait a few weeks before finding a new girl?

"I just asked, honey. I didn't mean anything by it."

I shake Silas out of my head. "Sorry, Mom. I'm just in a bad mood today, I guess."

"You weren't earlier. Did something happen with Silas?"

"No." I grab a box. "I'll go take this to the car."

As I'm walking to the vendor parking lot, I see Silas leaning against his truck, talking on the phone. He's smiling as he talks and I'm sure it's because he's talking to his new girlfriend. The box slips out of my hand and tomatoes spill out on the ground. I quickly pick them up, hoping Silas doesn't see me and see how flustered I am. He doesn't. Even when I'm walking back to the booth, he doesn't seem to notice me.

The loss I've felt without him the past week becomes even worse now that I know he's moved on. It's what I told myself I wanted. What's best for him. But my heart refuses to accept it. Why can't my damn heart get in sync with my brain? Why are they fighting each other like this? And why does my heart keep winning the battle? Filling my thoughts with Silas? Making my chest ache from the loss of him? It's so damn frustrating, and painful, especially now that he's with someone else.

The next week I put all my energy into making more lotions and soaps. I create some new body scrubs with sea salts and essential oils. If I wasn't so heartbroken over Silas I'd be loving every second of this. I'm having so much fun. I've never let myself be this creative before. I didn't even know I was creative until now. But I'm not skilled in art and design so I could use some help designing the labels for all these new products. That's Silas' expertise, and although he might say no, I figure I might as well ask, so on Thursday night I decide to call him.

"Hey, Willow," he says in a casual tone, as if the past two weeks didn't even happen. As if we've been friends this whole time.

"Hi," I say nervously. Seriously, why am I nervous? This is ridiculous. I take a calming breath.

"Did you need something or were you just saying hi?"

"I um...I was just wondering if you'd help me out with something. You don't have to but—"

"Sure. What is it?"

"I made some new body scrubs and I was wondering if you could design the labels."

"Okay. Just email me the details and I'll get to work on it. Do you need it for Saturday?"

"Yeah, but that's not much time so I'll just plan on using plain labels this Saturday."

"I might be able to get it done. I can't work on it tomorrow night, but I can tonight. Send me a description of what you need and I'll see how far I can get."

"Okay. Thanks."

"Yeah. Talk to you later."

He hangs up and I drop the phone on my nightstand and lie down on my bed. Why does this hurt so much? Just hearing his voice made me miss him even more.

I was hoping we could meet to go over the labels but he wants me to email him instead. And he said he's busy tomorrow night. Friday night. Date night. He'll be out with his new girlfriend.

I want to be mad at him about that but I can't. He tried to make it work between us and I ruined it. And now I feel like I ruined any chance of us ever getting back together.

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