Page 167 of Master of My Heart

She shook her head. “You’re right. I don’t understand. I don’t understand why you want me to be a part of something like that. Why you’d want to be a part of that.” She lifted her chin. “Take me home, please.”

“If that’s what you want,” he said in a low voice.

She nodded, not trusting herself to speak.

*****

The drive home was long and silent. Chase kept rehashing the conversation in his mind, trying to figure out where he could have fixed it, but nothing was obvious. Yes, if they lived in a perfect world, he’d find a way to remove himself from the entanglements of the Brotherhood, marry Sabrina, and live happily ever after. But they didn’t live in a perfect world. The Brotherhood was a necessary part of it, and he was a part of the Brotherhood. She was, too, even though she seemed to be in denial. He partially understood why she avoided it. She was afraid, but she didn’t trust him enough to believe it when he said it wasn’t something to be afraid of. Not by her anyway.

Chase knew her desires—needs—were starting to surface. Going to a Gathering would help. She’d have sex and would feel better, but he couldn’t force her to go.

He didn’t know what to do. He reached across the car to hold her hand. She didn’t pull away, but she didn’t hold his, either. At least she wasn’t angry. If she were, she’d have pulled away.

She was such an amazing woman, and he loved every minute he’d spent with her, getting to know her and helping her open up to life. He loved the way her eyes sparkled when she experienced something new. He loved the smile on her face when she was brave and succeeded in something she’d never done before. She was unlike any woman he’d ever met before and he was completely taken with her. He’d do anything for her. Except break a commitment made when he was twenty.

How can I make her understand?

He parked in front of her building and hurried around to open the door for her. They walked inside and waited silently for the elevator. They didn’t speak as she unlocked the door to her apartment. He leaned down to kiss her, but she turned her head so he could only kiss her cheek. Then she went in and closed the door behind her without another word.

As he walked away, the ache in his chest was worse than when he couldn’t find her. He sat in his car for a long time, thinking about the evening.

Then his phone rang.

“Ethan?” he said anxiously. “What’s wrong?”

“She kicked me out,” came Ethan’s voice through the speaker of the phone.

“What?” he stared at the phone as if it were Ethan’s face.

“She told me to get out. That she didn’t want me watching her anymore.”

“Fuck.”

“What happened?”

Chase leaned back and ran his fingers through his hair. “I’m still out front. Come on out and I’ll tell you about it.” He closed his eyes and waited for his friend to come out of the building.

Ethan came out and threw his bag into the back seat, then hopped into the front. “I’ll come back in the morning in stealth mode. I told Jayson to keep an eye on her and let me or you know if something happens.”

“Thanks.” Chase started the car with a frown.

“So what happened? She not like the place you took her for dinner?”

Chase gave a mirthless laugh. “I wish it were something that simple.” He told Ethan about the conversation. When he was done, Ethan sat there quietly. By that time, they were back at the condo. They got out and walked inside, neither saying anything.

“Maybe Richard can get through to her,” Ethan suggested as they walked up the stairs. “If nothing else, he can force her to listen.”

“I don’t want her to be forced to do anything.”

“Sometimes we have to push people to do the right thing, though, right?” Ethan asked, glancing at Chase. “She needs to be protected. We can’t let her wander around the city without having some sort of protection.”

Chase nodded. Theo’s warning rang through his head. “Richard won’t like that you left.”

“She was pretty mad when she saw me. Crying mad.” He chuckled. “She’s got spirit.”

“That she does.” He sighed. “You’re right. I’ll call Richard and see what he suggests.”

Chapter Fifty-Four