Sabrina was miserable when she woke up the next morning. She’d hardly slept, and when she did, she had terrible nightmares. Even though she felt justified in leaving Chase like she did, she felt guilty. She missed him terribly. But his ideas of what happened after marriage... How could she accept something like that? She wanted a marriage like her parents had. Chase would go to the Gathering things and have sex with other women. Was she supposed to go and watch?
Throughout rehearsal, she kept glancing at the empty corner where Ethan usually sat. She’d gotten so used to his presence, she missed him almost as much as she missed Chase. But when she’d walked into her apartment last night and saw him, it had set her off and she yelled at him to get out. She suspected it was more shock than anything that made him listen. The empty corner made her even more sad, though she would have sworn she could still sense him around, even though she couldn’t see him.
She felt very alone.
After they concluded their reverence, Jayson hugged her to his side. “Let’s go get some lunch,” he said gently. She nodded. She hadn’t eaten breakfast and her stomach growled, even though she wasn’t in the mood to eat.
Liz and Jon had arrived late to class, so she hadn’t been able to talk to her beforehand. Liz hurried over to hug her as Sabrina and Jayson headed toward the hallway. “I heard what happened,” she said, her bright blue eyes full of sympathy. “It’ll be okay. It has to be.”
Sabrina stared at the floor as she walked out of the studio surrounded by her friends. She missed Chase.
They silently walked to the deli. As they sat down, her phone rang, but she didn’t recognize the number. “Hello?” she answered nervously.
“Sabrina? It’s Richard.”
She frowned, confused. Why would Richard be calling? Did he think he could have her now, since she’d pushed Chase away? “Hi, Richard.”
“Chase called and told me what happened last night.”
Her shoulders slumped. “Oh.”
“I was wondering if you’d like to talk this evening.”
“About what?”
“About the Brotherhood. I’m sure you have questions.”
She hesitated. “I do,” she admitted slowly.
“Would you like to see the Manor?”
“What’s that?”
“Where we meet. Where we perform our duties.”
Where they have sex.
The way he said it didn’t really sound like an offer. His voice had a hint of command in it. No, he wasn’t commanding, but she didn’t doubt that he would if he needed to. “Okay.”
“Sabrina, I’m not trying to steal you away from Chase. I’d like to clear up any confusion you have and answer any questions.”
For some reason, she believed him. “Okay.”
Richard chuckled. “Shall I pick you up after rehearsal?”
“I should shower and have dinner first,” she said. “How about six at my apartment?” Something about another man picking her up from rehearsal in front of her friends seemed wrong.
“I can do that. Promise me you won’t walk home alone, though.”
She sighed and looked up at Jayson. “Okay.” He’d walk home with her.
*****
The only good thing about being miserable was that Jayson’s touch during rehearsal didn’t affect her like it normally did. Sabrina was too consumed with her broken heart to think about how his hands felt on her body. It wasn’t the worst rehearsal she’d ever had, but it certainly wasn’t the best one, either. Martin seemed to know what was going on and kept encouraging her, but didn’t get angry.
She walked home with Jayson, not talking. She showered and then stood in the living room, looking out the window.
“When is Richard picking you up?” Jayson asked.