Page 45 of The Retreat

“Why are you so insufferable?” I ask.

“It’s easy for me to be insufferable. I enjoy it.”

“And why do you enjoy it? Do you like getting a rise out of me? What does that get you except frustration?”

Colin lifts his shoulder in a slight shrug. “I don’t know. There’s something about the way you look at me when you’re frustrated that I enjoy. Is that bad to admit?”

“Yes.”

“I think I should be able to admit that to my husband.”

“I can’t believe you’re admitting that you like to annoy me,” I say, the shock coloring my tongue.

“Why is that so hard for you to understand?”

“Because it’s not fucking right. Shouldn’t you want to make me happy?”

“Maybe I just want to make me happy,” he says, amusement dancing at the corner of his mouth.

“And what do I get out of all of this?” I ask, liking the way he looks when he’s pushing my buttons. I shouldn’t enjoy this.

I was starting to—no—I wasn’t going there.

“I’m not even getting laid. Why should I care what you enjoy?” Colin’s eyes narrow, and he’s back to sassy.

“Because we’re not fucking actually married.” I throw my hands up. It was like talking in circles.

“We are married.”

“Fine, yes, we are married, but it’s a sham. Why are you obsessed with getting me to want to try sex again? I can not like it.”

“You can not like it, but then you would have to say that. You just keep saying you’re straight, not asexual or something.”

“Because I am straight.” Or so I thought. I can’t have another identity crisis. I just got over the last one.

“So you feel attraction?” Colin asks, lifting a brow.

“I do, and I like fucking my own hand. I just said it was unpleasant with other parties.”

Colin growls. “So if you feel attraction, there is no reason not to try it with me. I feel like everybody’s a little bi-curious.” He gives me an innocent-type grin.

I roll my eyes. “That’s not true. Not everybody is bisexual. There are straight people. I’m straight.”

“But how are you straight? You don’t even like sex. That’s asexual, not straight.”

“I’m not going to admit it because it’s not true.” At least I didn’t think it was. I liked sex in theory. In practice, it was messy. “Asexual was about attraction, not necessarily sex.”

“Okay, sex repulsed, then?” Colin cocks his head like he was waiting for me to admit it.

“No, like I said, I like sexual acts.”

“Prove it.” Colin slips an arm around me, pressing his hand into my lower back to give him more leverage to grind on me.

I grab his shirt, but I don’t force him back. “I don’t have to prove it to you.”

“And you wonder why I like pushing your buttons.” He draws a line down my throat with his fingertip.

I release him with a snarl. “Why do you want me to admit it so bad?”

---