Page 46 of The Retreat

“Because I thought I’d get laid. But I’m being forced to be celibate. If you’re not going to fuck me, I feel like someone should be able to.” Colin crosses his arms. “But after the way you just acted with Ryan, I can tell you’re jealous.”

“I’m not—” But I am, and I won’t lie to him. I barely hold back my reaction to his obvious baiting. “You can fuck yourself. And infidelity would garner the media’s attention and thus ruin this with our families.”

“Stop making this about the media and anyone else. I saw your reaction. You can’t hide from me.” He glances between us. “You’re hard and not pushing me away.”

I swallow. “I didn’t like sex…”

“Okay, fine, you don’t like sex. Maybe you’ll like a blow job.” His lips purr next to my ear.

“I’m not going to like giving a blowjob if I don’t like sex. It’s way more sticky.” I grab his jaw, all my control slipping.

“I didn’t say you’d like giving a blowjob. I mean—you’d like getting one. And since mouths are all the same, it’d be easy to pretend you’re straight while I give you a blowjob.”

The idea of something other than my hand getting me off tonight. It sounds a whole lot less lonely than going to bed by myself in my room with my own thoughts and having to deal with my own brain.

“I can see you thinking about it.” Happiness exudes off of him, and I realize I like it.

But it also makes me not want to give in at all. Just to fucking spite him.

“Oh, what’s that?” Colin asks.

“What’s what?” I say through my teeth.

“That flicker. You’ve like darkened. It’s fucking hot.”

I hold him in my gaze. “It’s none of your fucking business.”

“I think I hit a nerve there. Why don’t you explain, husband?” Colin asks, continuing his singsongy taunt. Every word out of his mouth vibrates through my hand.

“Nothing,” I say, letting it draw out so he gets the fucking point.“I’m going back to practice.” I get three feet away just to breathe air that does not involve his scent.

But Colin doesn’t give me peace. He follows. “You said I couldn’t leave, so you don’t get to either.”

And every step on my heels drives me further toward the edge.

I stop, hands clenched into fists. “What else is there to say? We have practice.”

“You want me to go out there like this?” He grabs himself smugly, like he knows I’m just as hard as he is. “I bet Ryan won’t be the only one looking.”

I snap, grabbing him by his long blond hair, shoving him to his knees.

I have my dick out and between his lips before he can say another fucking word. Just to prove to him he doesn’t feel the same as a woman.

To prove to him that I’m not into it when I go soft, but as I force my cock down his throat, I only get harder. All the blood in my body pulses into my dick.

While my other hand grabs his jaw, forcing his mouth open farther, so I can get deeper.

I don’t know what comes over me, but I thrust, and pull back, and thrust again until I hit the back of his throat.

Colin is too stunned to do anything but swallow around me.

His eyes try to meet mine, but I avoid them, too lost in my lust to humanize this.

I can’t admit it to myself, or to him.

I can’t admit how good his lips feel, how good his throat constricting is, or how much shutting him up with my dick does something to me I never expected.

The act of forcing him. I’ve taken what I want, that was so freely offered, but that’s not the way I want it. Forcing him feels better. How sick and twisted is that? But that doesn’t stop me wanting it, or getting off on it, or fucking his face harder with every stroke.

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