Page 105 of The Retreat

“Where too?”

My breath hiccups a few times before I’m able to get the word out. “Hotel.”

At this point, it doesn’t even matter which one. Anywhere but here where I can lick my wounds and pull myself together. Though I doubt I’ll be able to. Not really. The man I’ve stupidly fallen in love with doesn’t want me, doesn’t love me, doesn’t need me.

It’s like a knife in my heart. Ragged and rusted as it tears me apart from the inside out. I’m only kept around as long as I’m needed and less work than someone else. I should be used to it by now.

But it’s such a soul-deep ache to be kicked aside by someone who knows you. By someone you’ve spilled your secrets to.

We pull up in front of a hotel, I don’t know which one because I don’t care, and I head for the reception desk.

Wiping at my face, I do my best to look presentable, but if her expression is anything to go by, I’ve failed.

“Good afternoon, what can I do for you?”

“I need a room,” I croak.

“Of course, for how long?”

That’s a good fucking question, but I don’t have the answer.

“Um. Three days.” That should be enough time to come up with some kind of game plan.

She takes my driver’s license and credit card, putting in the information and running the card so it’s on file.

“I’m sorry sir, the card was declined.”

What? That can’t be.

I take it from her and hand her a different one. She runs it twice and looks at me with pity in her eyes.

“I’m sorry sir.”

What the fuck is going on?

I hand her the only other one I have, and the same thing happens. Spinning on my heel, I storm from the hotel lobby. This is the last thing I need.

Where do I go?

I can’t go back to the apartment. I have no money. No dorm room. Oliver isn’t going to let me stay there, and the last thing I want right now is to look at the face of a man who just ripped my heart out. Fucking twins.

Maybe Allen’s out of town and I can stay at his apartment? I’ve done that before.

With a knot in my throat, I message him, but he’s in town, so that’s out. Fuck.

I literally have no one to turn to. No friends. No family. No means to take care of myself.

My lip trembles for a moment as I realize just how disposable I am to everyone around me. I guess my father was right. I’ll never be good enough to keep, only ever for a night or two.

A tear slips from my eye, and I wipe it away quickly. I don’t have time for this. I need a plan. Since Owen doesn’t have anything to do with my finances, I head to my parents’ house.

With a direction for my hurt to funnel into, I call the car back and let anger wrap around me.

Entering the lobby, the man at the desk knows me and clears me to head to the penthouse without a word. Despite the tremble in my hands, I walk with purpose. Using righteous indignation to wrap around the hurt and fear to find what I need to know.

“Colin, what the hell are you doing here?” Mother snaps when I stride into the formal living room where she’s twisting her hair around her finger.

“Trying to figure out why my credit cards have been declined,” I snap back at her. Anger feels good. So much better than heartbroken and hollow. “Where is Father?”

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