Page 104 of The Retreat

“That’s understandable, but maybe she realized your parents were recording her conversations.”

“I find it difficult to believe my parents are smart enough to do it, but I wouldn’t put it past them either.”

“What about in person?” I ask carefully, not sure what will help this situation.

“I haven’t seen her much. Our parents have been keeping her from me since we got married and pissed them off.”

“Dicks. But at least she’s safe now.” I try to keep my voice steady, but now that I know Cassie is safe, my entire world starts to implode.

Will Colin realize we don’t have to stay married and leave?

“Maybe. I don’t really trust they’ll leave her alone. Maybe I should have let her marry you. At least then she wouldn’t have forty-five-year-old guys sniffing around her making her feel like she can’t talk to me and needs to run to another country.” Colin sounds hurt, and I’m sure he has a right to be, but I can’t handle it right now.

I ball my hands into fists, taking slow breaths to stave off the panic. “You’d rather have her married to me?” I try and word things carefully to not make the situation worse.

“That’s not what I mean.” He breaks eye contact.

“Okay…” I search his face. Why the fuck did I have to fall in love with him? I know this is fake. Stupid fucking attachment to people.

“Okay what?” Colin narrows his eyes like he’s about to say something.

“If she’s out of your father’s reach…” I don’t want to say it. I don’t want to put the idea in his head, but my anxiety won’t let me not ask. I have to know. I have to prepare myself for it if Colin wants to leave. “Then there is nothing keeping you with me.” Sorrow chokes off my throat. “Are you leaving?” Is that what he’s trying to do? Did he detest taking care of me so much he wants to leave tonight?

“Am I leaving?” Colin asks, sounding affronted.

Panic creeps up my throat. He’s taking it the wrong way. “You said…” What had he said? My words get stuck in my throat. My mind is spinning and closing off. I don’t know what to say, or how to ask him to stay.

“I made a stupid comment and you want me to leave?”

“I wasn’t telling you to leave. I thought you were saying because your sister is safe and you’d rather she had married me that you were leaving.”

“Don’t fucking twist your words to make this my fault.”

My brows pull. “What? That’s not what I’m doing. Tensions are high, that was awful. Can we please talk about this tomorrow?”

“No, I need to know now.” Colin pulls inside himself. Away from me. I feel him slipping through my fingers. He gets up and I try to grab him, but he yanks his arm out of my reach. “Stop pretending you fucking want me. You’ve been pulling away for weeks. You won’t even touch me anymore unless I push you to it.” Tears well up in the corners of his eyes. “Just fucking tell me you don’t want me.”

“It’s not that.” What did I even say to this? My words stick in my throat. I can’t find the right ones. “I wasn’t saying it like that.”

“I heard you loud and clear. I’m fucking leaving.”

“You can’t just leave.”

“Actually, I can. You’ve made it clear that I’m no longer needed.”

And he’s gone. The thing I’ve been dreading is here like I knew it would be.

THIRTY-FIVE

Colin

Then there is nothing keeping you with me.

Owen doesn’t want me.

That truth carves a hole in my chest so large I don’t know how I’ll heal from it. It’s a gaping wound, hemorrhaging every word he’s ever told me.

Stumbling out of the building with blurry eyes, I get into the car that’s waiting for me. The driver just opens the door without a word and doesn’t say anything until he’s behind the wheel.

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