Page 14 of Heart of a Villain

Many times since, he found himself questioning everything he’d thought back then—what, as a twenty-four-year-old fool, he’d assumed love meant. The same raw pain had existed during the three significant losses in his life, and of the three, he knew he’d loved two. Yet, those two instances never managed to surpass that day he watched that dress burn in the back of that van. Watching Sayeda die had hurt just as much as watching his mother be killed.

“She was your first love, wasn’t she?” Ayesha asked.

To assuage a sting he couldn’t reach, he laughed. “I don’t know anymore. I don’t know anything. The last words she said to me were, ‘Adrían, I love you,’ and I never got the chance to respond. I don’t even know what I would have said.”

“Let me try something.” Ayesha dragged another chair from under the table and situated it beside hers. “If she was sitting in this chair right now, and you had a second chance to tell her how you feel, what would you say?”

A baby screamed.

Their heads flung around.

Joel entered the house with Tiare, who was red-faced and crying, tucked against his chest. Ayesha, switching to “Mommy” mode, wiped her face and scrambled to her feet.

“Joel, what happened? Is she hurt? Should I get Tayler?”

Joel carried Tiare over to the kitchen sink, turned on the faucet, and held Tiare’s foot under the stream. “No, she’s okay. Mosquito bite, it looks like. I think she’s probably sleepy too. Daddy’s sorry he didn’t catch the big mean mosquito, baby girl.”

Tiare’s wails continued.

Ayesha turned.

“I’ll be all right,” Adrían reassured her. “Thank you for our talk.”

She kissed his cheek and then hurried over to take over for Joel, while Joel went in search of ointment. As she examined Tiare’s foot—knowing Ayesha, she was searching for any major swelling—she alternated between humming and singing, the latter of which faded Tiare’s cries.

“Want me to fetch Dr. Tayler?” Adrían offered.

Ayesha pressed a series of kisses against Tiare’s leg. “Um…no. She’s fine. I’m just extra.”

“What song were you singing?”

“Donna Lewis, ‘I Love You Always Forever.’ My father used to sing it to me when I was a little girl. According to him, singing is his side of the family’s ‘natural talent,’ and he did have an amazing voice.”

A smile spread across his face. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard you sing. Your voice is beautiful.”

“Thank you.” She looked over at him. “Did your first love sing by any chance?”

“She did and just as beautifully.”

“Adrían, I think you loved her, but love’s kind of like that, you know?” She stared at the empty hallway. “It shows up, even if we fail to acknowledge it right away. It cares for you, holds and cradles you, even during the times you, stupidly, spit in its face.”

Joel returned, holding up a small yellow jar. “Found it. Mo swears by this. Her and Ari’s parents send shipments for Aleksi, Ty, and Thandie, and there’s always ointment in them, so she said we can keep this one.”

While Joel and Ayesha tended to their daughter, Adrían stared at the empty chair. He tried to picture Sayeda sitting across from him, her eyes bright and shining as if the life had never been snatched from them. Now that he was older, he saw just how young twenty-four had been and how little he’d known about himself, never mind the world. So, if she had been sitting across from him, he knew exactly what he would have said:

“I wasn’t done with you, Sayeda.

You left me, but I wasn’t done with you.”

Ayesha went back outside, but she barely stepped foot on the grass before Larke swooped in and finagled Tiare out of her arms. Adrían started after her, but Joel grabbed his shoulder, nearly crushing his clavicle into powder.

“Why was Eesh crying?”

Adrían shook his head. “You know I’m the last person who would ever make her cry, mano. I told her my sad, pitiful life story. That’s it.”

“Delgano, I do not fuck around when it comes to my wife and kids.”

“Like I don’t know that.”

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