Page 96 of Falling With a Spin

He’s right. I would be leaving.

The apartment is eerie as the weight of the news surrounds us. We ordered pizza, but I couldn’t even bring myself to eat it. Even when Caleb said this is something that needs to be celebrated about, not to mourn. I’m ecstatic to go but dreading leaving the family I’ve grown to love and adore.

When I look up from my pizza to the clock in the kitchen, it shows four-thirty. I grab my plate from the table and put the pizza back in the box, deciding that I need time to process everything.

“I’m going to lie down for a little bit.” I leave the table before Hunter, or anyone can say anything.

Closing my door all the way, I pull out my phone and call my mom.

Chapter 36

Emma

“Hi, honey,” My Moms soft voice comes through the phone. I thought the call would have gone to voicemail, but when I hear her voice, it makes everything easier.

“Hi, momma,” It comes out in a whisper and is almost broken. I try to mask it with a cough, but I’m her daughter. She knows me too well.

“What’s going on baby?” Her stern, motherly tone is creeping in, and it causes me to miss her so much. Makes me angry that I didn’t see her for Christmas this year, that I let my selfishness cloud my judgment and wallow in my self-pity instead of sucking it up and going to spend it with my family.

“I just miss you so much,” I say, and my back slides down to the ground as I squeeze my eyes together.

“I miss you too.” She says, and I would give anything to have her hold me right now.

I realize how much I haven’t told her. She’s been kept in the dark because I didn’t want her to worry, didn’t want her to feel this weight on her shoulder, or that she had to come here to help me.

“There is so much that I need to tell you.” I bring my knees to my chest.

“Okay, honey. I’m here to listen to it all and give you advice when you need it.”

So I did. I tell my Mom everything that’s happened in this school year. Starting with my calculus class, which I was failing and it led me to Hunter, who was a recommended tutor. A smile pulls at my face while I tell her about him. I tell her about Chad, but not everything that happened. It’s silent on the other end until I hear the quiet sob that she tries to hide. I explained to her how I fought for myself and that Hunter’s mom was there fighting with me. Reassuring her that I wasn’t alone. Then I told her about Juilliard and how I got in for the second time in my entire life. She congratulated me just like she did the first time.

“But I don’t want to leave Hunter and the friends I have here,” I tell her, picking apart the shirt I’m wearing.

“That's a hard decision to make, especially when you have your dream standing in front of you.” She says, an understanding tone in her voice

“I want to go, but at the same time, I don’t want to leave what I have behind.” I lay my head back against the door, I haven’t moved for the last hour that I’ve been on the phone with my Mom. “But this fresh start is calling my name. I’ll be able to wipe the board clean of everything and start over. To finally feel clean from Chad.”

“I understand. You need to do what is best for you and only you. Your friends will still support and love you no matter what your decision is. Hunter will still love you.” It’s as if she can read my mind, yes, I would miss my friends, but Hunter is who I would miss the most. He’s slowly become my safe space, the one I feel at home with when I start to overthink. He is my person.

“Thank you, Mom, for your help. I love you.” I say, not wanting to get off the phone, to stay on with her for a little while longer.

“Anytime, baby, I love you too.” She says and then ends the call.

I peel myself off the floor, knowing what my decision is.

Two weeks later

“Can you hand me those clothes, please?” I ask Taylor as she sits on my bed and looks through the clothing that I'm giving away.

“Do you really need to get rid of all these clothes? Won’t you have a bigger closet or something?” She looks over to me.

“No, I won’t have a bigger closet, unfortunately, and I won’t need half of them anyway,” I tell her as I fold a pair of jeans.

“What a waste,” She sighs dramatically. I throw a shirt at her and roll my eyes as she catches it. “I'm going to miss you, you know?” I do know because I will miss her just as much.

After I got off the phone with my mom, my decision to go to Juilliard was easy, but telling them was not. Taylor cried, and I mean she ugly cried. I never knew she could cry that much. It just kept coming out of her eyes. Caleb hugged me and told me how happy he was for me, that this was exactly what I needed for myself. When I turned towards Hunter, sadness showed in his eyes, and I wanted to take it all back right then, but I couldn’t. I can’t do that to myself and the person I’m yearning to be. So I grabbed his hand and took him to my room. We lay in the bed for the remainder of the night until we fell asleep.

Since that day, we haven’t been apart. He goes with me to the studio to watch me dance, sits at the coffee shop till my shift ends, and stays the night. I’m starting to get a little worried about how he will be when I leave, but with his music and the guys, I have a good feeling he’ll be okay. That our time was short, but it was great. If it’s truly meant to be, then we’ll find our way back to each other.

---