Page 68 of Pulled Away

“I never said that.” Hadley looks at me, unable to hide the hatred flashing in her eyes.

“She said that?” Ryan asks at the same time, his eyes full of questions.

“She said lots of things.” I direct my answer to Ryan, then look back at Hadley and shrug, showing her how little her words and her hatred mean to me. She can’t hurt me more than she already has. And my friends know I’m not a liar. “If you say so.”

“How does swallowing the consequences of your actions taste?” Piper asks when nobody speaks up in her defense. “Pretty shitty, I’m guessing.”

Damn, I love that girl.

Hadley’s lips press into a tight line. “Ryan, if we could have a word, please.” She turns beseeching eyes to him, but it seems that she’s shit out of luck because he regards her with a stony expression for a few seconds, before his gaze moves to me.

“No.”

“Please, Ryan,” she says with a hitch in her voice.

“We don’t have anything left to talk about. Everything that needed to be said has been said. Go, Hadley. You’re not welcome here anymore.”

Her head jerks back and I don’t bother hiding my satisfied smile. His attitude is a little late, but at least it’s better than nothing.

Hot on the heels of satisfaction, is surprise though. I know he told me he feels nothing for her besides friendship, but to see this complete change of attitude is jarring. It makes me angry. Why couldn’t he have opened his eyes earlier? Why did it take the destruction of our relationship for him to see?

Sitting back, I suck on my straw, keeping my eyes on her. I can’t believe I thought her beautiful. When I look at her now, all I see is ugly.

I’m so curious to see what she’ll do next. I mean, she did say she’ll fight for him till her dying breath. But how far is her pride willing to go?

“Are you happy?” she says, swiping a tear from her cheek. Her shoulders slump, and she hugs her arms protectively across her stomach, letting her tears flow freely. Damn, she’s good. She looks positively abandoned. If it wasn’t for the fact that she had shown me her true colors, I might have fallen for her act. “You’ve turned everyone against me. What have I ever done to you?”

I nearly choke on the sip I’m taking. “Excuse me?”

“Ever since I got here, you’ve been jealous of the relationship Ryan and I have. Isn’t it enough for you to drive a wedge between us?” she says, motioning to Ryan. “When will it end? When your manipulation has taken away everything and everyone from me? Are you really that insecure?”

At the end of her impassioned speech, she shoots Ryan a quick look, judging his reaction to her words. But she’s shit out of luck, because he shoots up, his legs hitting the table and causing our glasses to rattle.

“Don’t, Hadley. Don’t you dare put this on Aspen. You’ve done nothing but lie and manipulate since you got here. You’re the one who took every good memory I had of you and twisted it into something that makes me sick. Your actions cost me the love of my life. My biggest regret is that I was too blind to see you for who you truly are, and that Aspen had to pay the price for my stupidity.”

Ryan’s eyes meet mine and they’re brimming with apology. I duck my head, blinking rapidly in a futile attempt to hold back my threatening tears. I want to tell him to sit down, that I can stand up for myself, and I don’t need him to do it. Not anymore. Not when it’s too late. But hearing him say that—witnessing him finally standing up for me is like a shot of heroin straight into my veins.

I also know my words would be plastic arrows, bouncing harmlessly off their target. I have a feeling that there isn’t anyone in the world besides Ryan that can hurt her.

And the look of devastation on her face confirms it.

We watch in silence as she turns, winding her way around people until she gets lost in the crowd, and it’s only then that I look at Ryan.

His eyes are on me. It seems that they’re always on me. There’s so much sorrow in them, and he whispers, “I’m so fucking sorry,” so softly, that if I hadn’t seen his lips moving, I wouldn’t have heard him.

Yeah, Ryan. You should be.

Chapter twenty-four

Aspen

Ryan: I miss the little things. The things I took for granted. Your sleepy smile. The way you laughed at my stupid jokes. The way you teased me. Closing my eyes and knowing you’ll be there in the morning. But the thing I miss the most is you loving me. Sometimes life gives me a reprieve, and there’ll be a minute where I forget I lost you. But it’s not a reprieve, it’s torture. Because when I remember, it hurts so bad, I can’t breathe.

Ever since that night at Frosty’s, I’ve been waking up to a message from Ryan every morning. I never reply, but I can’t stop myself from reading them over and over.

My heart keeps whispering that it’s okay. That it’s okay to miss him. That untangling a relationship takes time and quitting him cold turkey will be more than I’m able to bear. But my mind keeps yelling that my heart is fragile and can’t be trusted to make decisions. That I need to block him to protect my heart. I agree with my mind. My heart is hurting and can’t be trusted, but knowing something and doing it are two different things.

I’m tired, but I’m smiling—sort of. Financially, things are looking up. Another few months and I can quit working at the Silver Stiletto. Working there isn’t too bad—if I pretend hard enough that I don’t see the way strange eyes linger on my ass and boobs—but I don’t think I can keep up with two jobs indefinitely. I would if I had to, but I miss the days of finishing work at the clinic, knowing that my day is done. I miss having any sort of life besides work.

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