Paul was…kind of a miracle, for all of us.

He was gentle, kind, and just as hopelessly in love with my mom as she was with him. He adopted us all, didn’t even bat an eye, and worked his ass off to get the promotion needed for my mom to finally quit her many—life-sucking—jobs.

They weren’t rich by any means, but he made enough every year to give each of us something nice for Christmas.

Paul was a sweetheart.

Then, as per usual, thinking of my family was quickly followed with gut-clenching guilt. I wilted, my smile falling away like it had never been there at all.

“What’s your problem?” Prudence’s voice interrupted my wallowing. I hadn’t even noticed he’d sat down across from me like I’d commanded, but he had. His thick thighs were splayed wide, one of his booted feet propped up on the rung of my chair, his head tipped back as he stared through his lashes at me. Effortlessly pretty. Effortlessly cunning. Effortlessly sexy.

The bastard.

“My problem?” I played dumb as my shoulders rose up to my ears and tension bled through my body.

“You look like you’re sucking on a lemon.”

I smoothed out my features, embarrassed to realize he was right. I’d been squeezing myself tight all over. Wrinkles-galore.

“It’s just…” I shook my head, my heart giving a sick little lurch in my chest. “I was thinking about my family.”

“Are they dead?”

“What? No!” I glared at him, and then sighed, because I knew it wasn’t his fault he didn’t know.

“Then why are you sad?”

Why am I sad? What a good question.

Maybe because I was a liar.

Maybe because I was a failure.

Maybe because even though all my life I’d strived to be different, at the end of the day I was just as naive, just as trusting, just as stupid as my mom was.

“I fucked up.”

Prudence cocked his head and I stared at the little black cross tattooed underneath his left eye, too raw to look him in the eyes. He was waiting, but I didn’t know what to say so I remained silent.

“If they’re not dead,” Prudence said, stilted, and clearly struggling to soothe me. My sweet sadistic little robot. “It seems to me that whatever you’ve done…isn’t irreparable.”

I guess he was right.

At least they weren’t dead.

Weirdly enough, despite how bluntly he delivered the words, I felt better. Shifting in my seat, I bit my lip as I glanced at his mouth, oddly charmed by the way one side pulled up farther than the other when he talked.

“What did you do?” Prudence asked, surprising me once again by inquiring further. I squirmed in my seat as I debated whether or not I should reply.

I hadn’t told anyone other than Violet what had happened.

Because…

Because saying it out loud would make it more real.

Then again…Prudence was my lucky ghost. If anyone could make me feel better it was probably him.

“I’m going to let them down. They don’t know it yet. But they’re never going to want to talk to me again. And I deserve it.” Nope. I was right. It didn’t make me feel any better to say the words out loud. I wilted, slumping forward till my head thunked against the keyboard of my hand-me-down laptop. I’d sold my other one to make rent a few months ago, and Violet had given me her old one in the interim.