Page 27 of A Very Fumbling Merry Christmas

“It wasn’t surprising.”

“She hates me, doesn’t she?” My heart sinks as silence spans between us. His lack of response gives me my answer. “I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. I’m not the girl who makes a good first impression.”

Hunter lets out a huge sigh before smoothing down my hair and pressing a kiss to my head.

“You made a good impression on me.”

“Only because you got an eyeful of my breast.”

“Don’t be so hard on yourself, Faith. You’re amazing, and I love you more than life itself. Anyone who doesn’t see that isn’t worth knowing. Besides, it wasn’t you that my mom had a problem with.”

“What?” He stares up at the ceiling, his gaze a million miles away.

“She thinks I corrupted you. How could you love a guy that’s older than you? I’ve humiliated her with our antics in the press. She’s ashamed to call herself my mother. Basically, she gave me all the love and affection I’m used to from her. Of course, she waited to tell me how disappointed she is until after I did countless photo ops for her and was paraded around like her little show pony.” That just makes me mad.

“How dare she say those things. You’re the most amazing man I’ve ever met, and you being a little older than me has never been an issue or a hurdle for me to overcome. I see you for who you are, and I love the strong, confident, successful, and kind man you are. I’m the lucky one. Being your wife is a privilege, and as for your age… you could pass for thirty without hesitation. You’re smoking hot, in great shape, and I won’t have anyone, including you, talk smack about my husband!”

“Thanks, love. I appreciate it. I’m going to go grab that shower, and I’ll be back in a few minutes. It’s been a long day.”

Normally, I’d join Hunter in the shower, but he seems like he could use the peace and quiet. Instead, I stupidly check my social media accounts. Of course, there are pictures of me looking like Christmas threw up on me with unmistakable sex-mussed hair. I’m disappointed that they didn’t get imaginative with the hashtags. I have a good mind to repost the pictures with some of my witty tags.

When Hunter reappears with a towel around his waist and water droplets dripping down his abs, I completely forget what I’m doing.

“Faith, you’re drooling.” He gives me a panty-melting smile, and all is right in the world.

“Can you blame me? I’m never going to tire of seeing you wet and in a towel.”

“Glad to hear it. What are you up to?” He nods his head toward my phone. “Tell me you’re not on social media. I’m sure there are already pictures of my mom that look like she’s chewing a bee.”

“I haven’t seen them yet. There are, however, some stellar shots of me creeping to the back entrance in my super flattering pajama outfit.”

“Love, why do you bother looking? It never ends well.”

“I’m fine. It’s funny, but their hashtags are unimaginative at best.”

“Shut off the phone. Can we just live in our own little bubble for a few hours? It’s exhausting having your every move documented and scrutinized.” He seems battle weary. I know just how to cheer him up.

I pull up my latest order on Amazon and hold it out for him to see.

“I was thinking about our wager. Zee got the elf costume. You got the penis pump. I got the vibrating panties. The only person who hasn’t been royally humiliated yet is Coop.”

“When did this go from being Secret Santa to Secret Pranks?”

“I knew all those sweet gifts were from you!”

“Well, then, it’s not very secret, is it?” I pull him down onto the bed, my lips finding his in a reverent kiss.

“I love you, Hunter Vaughn. You’re a big softy.”

“Don’t tell anyone. That’s our little secret.” He winks and rewards me with a heart-stopping chuckle. “So, let me see what you have planned for poor Coop.”

I turn my phone screen to show him my earlier purchase.

“I was thinking we could send it to him for the Titans’ Christmas Eve party.”

Hunter erupts with laughter.

“Holy fuck! Forget what I said about embarrassment, this is going to be hysterical. Coop is going to shit a brick.”

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