Page 61 of Darkest Desire

“You mean you…you went down on me?” Phoebe felt like she was blushing all over. “And I let you?” She’d always been resistant to this particular act, since the guy she’d dated long-term in college had disliked it. He had always complained that she was “too wet” which made her incredibly self-conscious.

But Sirex was nodding.

“You didn’t just let me—you begged me,” he told her. “I have to apologize for that—I knew you were drugged at that point but you were in pain. I couldn’t think of any other way to heal you.”

“I…you…what else did I say?” Phoebe could barely get the words out.

“You asked me to make you come,” he rumbled, his eyes going half-lidded. “And so I did—it seemed to help you feel better.”

“Oh my God…” Phoebe shook her head numbly. She had really gone way outside her boundaries the night before! “Did…did I ask you to do anything else?” she asked in a low voice.

“Only to hold you,” he murmured. “Which I also did, all night.”

“It was, uh, nice of you to put up with me when I was in that state,” Phoebe said.

She wasn’t sure what else to say. She didn’t think she could really complain about him going down on her when she had also apparently done the same thing to him. And anyway, if he was healing her and she was begging him to do it…God, what must he think of her now?

“I just can’t believe I acted like that—I’m so sorry!” she burst out. “I want you to know that if I hadn’t been, uh, under the influence I never would have acted like that. Or said all the embarrassing things I probably said,” she added, feeling hot with shame as she imagined herself “begging” him to make her come.

“No, of course you wouldn’t.” Sirex’s expression was suddenly closed. “And I must apologize again for touching you sexually without your consent.”

“It’s all right—it sounds like I, uh, touched you too.” Phoebe’s cheeks were hot with shame. “Look, can we just move past this and try to plan how we’re going to get in to see the Emperor?”

“Certainly.” He cleared his throat. “Maybe we should get dressed first, though.”

“Oh, sure. I guess so.” Phoebe bit her lower lip. “Um, do you think I could get away without wearing the clit jewelry and the plug? I mean, Kat packed me some other Salacious Prime outfits to wear. I’m sure I could find one that had enough coverage to keep anyone from noticing.”

His face went hard.

“Are you asking because you’d rather I didn’t put the jewelry on you? Because I touched you last night without your consent?”

“No, no—it’s not that!” Phoebe protested. “I mean, yes it’s really embarrassing to have to ask you to help me with things like that because I can’t touch myself with these damn non-con bracelets on but I just don’t…” She trailed off, realizing she was babbling.

“It’s all right—I understand,” Sirex said stiffly. “I’m sure it will be fine if you just wear the harness without the jewelry and plug as long as you have a skirt that covers you. It’s time we got back to a more professional relationship anyway. I feel like we went outside the boundaries of two Agents working in the field yesterday. It’s time we reined things in.”

Phoebe felt her heart drop…but she couldn’t exactly blame him. They really had gone too far the day before—even before she drank the Sparkler and apparently turned into a sex-starved nymphomaniac. And though she wished they could go even further—that they might have some kind of relationship that wasn’t strictly professional—she could see that the things they’d done together had made her mentor uncomfortable.

“Yes, of course,” she said, trying not to let the disappointment she felt show in her face. “You’re right. We need to get back on track.”

“Exactly.” Sirex nodded. “It’s time to start planning how we’re going to get in to see the Emperor. Especially now that I’m certain The Finger of the Goddess is really here, in his collection.”

“You are? How do you know?” Phoebe asked.

She was beyond relieved that they were changing the subject. She didn’t known when she’d been so embarrassed. There had been a few times, after a night of hard drinking in college when she’d acted kind of crazy but she had never gotten so completely black-out drunk that she’d forgotten everything she did. And apparently everything she had done last night had been sexual.

“Thruck practically told me it was here.” Sirex also looked relieved to be changing the subject. “He said they have an object called “the Lust Finger” that they use when they brew the Sparkler drink they give to the women every night. Apparently it increases the potency of the other ingredients and also increases fertility.”

“That sounds like The Goddess’s Finger all right,” Phoebe said, nodding. “The question is, how do we get to it?”

“I don’t know,” Sirex admitted heavily. “Thruck hinted that he was leaning towards granting us an audience with the Emperor, but only if we continued to be ‘entertaining.’”

“Entertaining? What the hell did he mean by that?” Phoebe demanded.

“Well, he said it after your, er, enthusiastic performance last night.” Sirex cleared his throat. “When you were so eager for my seed.”

“Oh my God!” Phoebe groaned, putting her head in her hands. “I can’t believe I acted like that!”

“Don’t blame yourself—you were drugged,” Sirex said. “I’m just sorry I didn’t realize it sooner.”

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