Page 98 of Macon

“I’m aware we keep talking about it, and I keep asking, but I want you to know I’m here. I’ll always be here.” His voice is soft and smooth.

I know he knows how it feels to lose a sister, but I feel like losing a twin is a whole different feeling. It’s like I lost part of me.

We hadn’t seen each other in years, and we’d been apart for twelve years, but I knew she was out there. I knew she’d answer if I needed her. I could feel her out there—now it’s…nothing.

A tear escapes.

“I’ll never be okay, but I’m dealing with it as best as I can. Having you and everyone around me has helped. Since I can’t feel her anymore, having you all is like having a piece of her with me. If that makes sense.” I try to explain how I’m feeling.

The last two days have been the hardest thing I’ve had to deal with besides being kidnapped. Losing myself is one thing but losing my sister is completely different.

The celebrations of life for my sister were everything and more. She was so loved. After the first night of celebration, I broke down and said I wished it’d been me. Mac lost his shit on me.

I still feel that way. She had a full life with so many people who loved her. I have no one. If I died, only my sister and Phoenix would have mourned me. She has so many people who love her.

“Don’t go there, Sin,” Mac orders. “I see that look again.”

I take a deep breath.

The second night was even worse. Violet, Izzy, Snow, and a few others DJd in memory of Raydene. Watching Violet play had so many people in tears.

The dance floor was over capacity, but no one cared. The memory of my sister lives through them. She will always be remembered.

Mac rises and scoots back against the headboard. He pulls me with him, and I lay my head on his lap, looking up at him.

Mac says calmly, “Your life was taken from you all those years ago. It’s your time to live.”

I interject, “But at the price of my sister? It doesn’t seem right.”

Mac runs his hand through his hair, frustrated. When he looks at me, he says warmly, “Tragedy has hit our families hard. We can’t dwell on the past. Do you think Ray would want you to give up on life because she was gone? All she ever wanted to do was protect you. For you to live your life free.”

I stare up at the ceiling, trying to keep my shit together.

It’s just so hard. Seeing all those people, and then when they see me, the looks I would get—shocked, surprised, sad, and most of all, confusion. Everyone had questions about who I was and where I’d been.

I sigh. “All I ever wanted was to be with her and live my life.”

“I think that’s all she wanted as well. You have to keep her in your heart and try to live like she’d want you to…free,” Mac says simply.

I know he’s right, but my heart hurts so fucking bad.

I sit up and move to straddle him. Sliding my hands around his neck, I clasp them together.

Mac welcomes me with open arms. Gripping my hips, he slides me over his now hard length closer.

Mac’s smile widens. Tilting his head back, he asks, “What are you doing?”

I smirk. “Trying to distract you.”

Mac gives me a sweet, sexy smile. “Beautiful, I will always do whatever you want. I want you to start living your life for you and not hide anymore.”

I sigh.

We sit there in silence for a second before Mac says with a sweet smile, “After today, we have our lives to live. We say goodbye to your sister and hello to our forever life. Promise?”

I nod.

Today, we continue celebrating the life of my sister here at the clubhouse. Our last goodbye before everyone has to go back home.

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