Page 33 of Tactical Revival

“You should have been,” he replies. “But I get it. I acted like a turd when he left. You probably were freaked out I’d revert to my turdish nature.”

I arch a brow, unable to hide my smile. “Turdish nature?”

“Ant’s words, not mine.” He laughs, and seeing my boy smile in the midst of all my internal turmoil is like a rainbow streaking across a stormy sky. “Are you doing okay? Has he tried to get in contact with you?”

“He has.” God, how much do I tell him? “He came to the B&B, and I met him at the diner last night.” Was it really only last night? Why does it feel like it’s been a month already?

“What did he want?”

I turn to face him, noting the sharpness of his nose and the strength in his jaw. He looks so much like his dad, but the kindness behind his eyes is something Chad never had. It just took me too long to realize it. “He wants a relationship with you.” I leave off the financial issues, because we just got some of it under control, and I don’t want to risk stressing him out further.

“Absolutely not.”

“I won’t let them force you to do anything you don’t want to do.”

“Then you can tell him that I never want to see him again.” Matty’s cheeks turn pink.

“It’s not that simple, honey,” I tell him truthfully. “Your dad is taking me to court for partial custody.”

“But he can’t do that. He didn’t want me, remember? He signed away his rights to me. I don’t even have his last name anymore.”

“I know, baby, and I promise you that I won’t let him get you. It’s just going to be a fight for a while.”

“Ugh. Why is he doing this? I hate him!”

“Matty.” Reaching over, I take his hand as he wipes a tear from his cheek. “Baby, look at me.”

He does.

“I already contacted Beckett. She’s handling things, and we’ll make sure he can’t take anything else from us. But I want you to know that if you decide later on that you want a relationship with him, you can make that call.”

“I never want to see him again.”

“I know it seems that way right now, honey. But if it changes?—”

“It won’t.” He withdraws his hand. “Can we go in now?”

“Sure thing. Grab us a table, I’ll be along in just a minute.”

Matty nods and gets out of the car, and I watch him like a hawk until he slips inside the diner.

Then, I take a deep breath, grip the steering wheel, and bow my head.

Lord, I know that You have a plan for all of us and that it is far greater than anything we could imagine for ourselves. But please, Lord, please help me be strong so I can fight for my boy. Please help him heal the pain in his heart and see that he is worthy of love. That Chad’s abandonment has nothing to do with him. Please, God. In Your holy name I pray, Amen.

By the time Matty is settled in bed and I’ve triple-checked all of the windows of my apartment, Andie has nearly finished shutting the B&B down for the night. She’s just turning off the lights in the dining room as I’m coming down the hall.

“How’s it going, momma?” she asks, then leans against the doorjamb.

“I’m exhausted,” I admit. “Between Chad showing up with papers, Lanetti going missing, and trying to keep this place running, I’m burning the candle at both ends.”

“Don’t forget being an amazing mom,” she says.

I laugh. “I’m not so sure about that most days.”

“Well, I am. Come on. Let’s have some tea.” She wraps an arm around my shoulders and guides me into the kitchen, where she fills my electric kettle with water and turns it on.

“I should be making you tea.”

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