Page 34 of Reclaim Me

“The Elliots’ daughter didn’t have any questions,” Chris grumbles into his glass.

“The Elliots’ daughter is also fifteen years old. I don’t care how many damn CPR certifications she has, she’s not watching my kids alone.”

Hunter lets out a low whistle. “Fifteen?”

Dominic nods. “Yep, I was shocked too, but apparently, that’s the norm around here.”

“I had my first babysitting job when I was twelve,” I offer. “It’s a great way to make money, especially on the weekends. My friend Deanna and I used to have a whole roster of families we worked for. We’d use the money to pay for our dance gear when our moms couldn’t.”

“Okay, Black babysitter club,” Sloane says, which makes us all laugh.

“Riley loves those books,” I tell them, smiling fondly at the memory of introducing them to her. “She swears when she’s old enough, she’s going to start her own babysitting club.”

“How old is she anyway?” Mallory asks.

“She’s nine. She’ll be ten in August,” I answer immediately, not realizing my mistake until I feel Hunter’s body go stiff beside me. One glance in his direction shows his face scrunched in concentration as he plays my confession back in his head. I watch the wheels turn in his brain, see the mental math he’s doing, and then, the exact moment when it all clicks.

His eyes lock onto mine, and I must be wearing confirmation on my face because he sees it.

The thing he missed in the cemetery that day.

The signs he was too far gone to notice all those years ago.

The truth I can’t stand here and acknowledge.

“I need to find Aaron,” I murmur, backing away from the group of confused faces and turning to leave without so much as a goodbye. I don’t realize I’ve moved toward the exit until I’m out in the hallway alone, save for the sound of Hunter’s approaching footsteps. He’s moving fast, so fast I hardly have time to round the corner that leads to the bathroom before he catches up to me.

It’s been years since he’s touched me, so the moment he catches me by the wrist, my entire body rocks with tremors of shock. I snatch away, holding the affected limb with the fingers of my other hand, and stumble back.

“Don’t touch me.”

“Riley’s going to be ten in August?” he asks, his voice a low, broken tremor.

“Hunter, I need you to walk away. I need you to leave me alone.”

He shakes his head, denying my request without a moment of consideration. “Answer me, Rae. Tell me I heard you correctly when you said your daughter is about to be ten.”

“Yes! Okay?! You heard me right. Are you happy now?”

A humorless laugh echoes off of the walls of the hallway. “If she’s turning ten this year, that means you gave birth in 2014, which means you got pregnant in 2013, which means…”

He trails off, leaving the gap open for me to fill. I can’t do it. I won’t do it. I shake my head, silently communicating that to him. Hunter puts his hands on top of his head and stares at me, crucifying me with his eyes, with Riley’s eyes.

“It means—” he swallows roughly before starting again. “It means you were pregnant when you left New Haven. It means you were pregnant when you left me.”

I lie a lot.

It’s a fact that I’m aware of, and not really something I’m trying to fix about myself because every lie I tell is a lie of necessity. I lied to Aaron about not knowing who Riley’s father was because I needed to be able to build a life with him without Hunter casting a shadow over it. I lied to myself about being okay with moving back to New Haven because I wanted the life I had with Aaron and foolishly thought I’d keep it if we were here.

And when Hunter’s features are flooded with a thousand emotions that pull the lines of his handsome face into tight lines fraught with hurt, anger, panic and pain, I lie to myself and say that I only see the panic. I tell myself that I’m staring confirmation of my choice in the face, that ten years after the fact, Hunter is showing me that I did the right thing because not only was he not ready for the responsibility of a child, he didn’t want it.

He didn’t want her.

I repeat the lie so many times, I almost accept it as truth, but then Hunter does that thing he always does. He surprises me. He scrubs a hand over his face, and I watch acceptance wash away every bad feeling and negative thought until the only thing left is hope and a depth of emotion for my daughter I’ve never seen in Aaron’s eyes.

“When can I meet her?”

13

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