Page 80 of Cardinal

"That's it, baby, ride it out. Imagine it's my fingers stuffed inside of you." His rich voice sounded so distant but good. I kind of wanted to hear more, but I also wanted to float around a little more in my pool of pleasure.

I only came to when I felt something soft and wet press against my forehead before my fingers were forcefully removed from me, causing me to pout and whine. "Fuck." I shuddered at the sight and feeling of Luciano putting my fingers into his mouth. Those kissable lips of his wrapped so tightly around my digits as he sucked and licked them clean of my juices with a deep groan. His hot breath bathed the back of my hand as he exhaled and closed his eyes as if enjoying some delicious food.

Pulling my fingers from his mouth, he pressed my open hand against the side of his face, nuzzling it with a happy smile while his eyes looked at me adoringly. "If only I had time to dig into you." He mused with a soft chuckle, kissing the palm of my hand before releasing me to pick me up and settle me properly in our bed.

Luciano kissed the top of my head once he pulled the sheets over me. "I know you want to wait up for me, but if you get too tired, you need to sleep. I promise I will be next to you in the morning." The confidence in his promise was enough to ease my nerves.

Still, it was natural for me to worry about him, and I couldn't help it from showing through in my smile as I looked up at him. I wanted to tell him, but I couldn't bring myself to. So, I settled for kissing his hand and looking at him tenderly.

"I love you, too, amorina." I could see the tinge of sadness behind his smile and hear the soft disappointment cracking in his voice.

No matter how hard I tried, I could not bring myself to say those words to him since that day, even if I felt it strongly.

Chapter 39

Luciano

"You should have been more careful." Juliet chided me with a huff as she cleaned my shoulder wound. "This could have seriously hurt you. What if it hit a nerve or severed a tendon?" Usually, I found fretting annoying, but it was more than tolerable and cute coming from Juliet's worried lips.

Rolling my eyes, I reached back and grabbed her hand to stop her. "Sweetheart, it's just a shallow knife wound. I will be fine." I assured her with a strong smile.

A deep exhale dragged out of her glaring face as she stared back at me from her position at my side. "I still don't like you getting hurt." She grumbled with blushing cheeks.

Unable to help it, I pushed her against the bathroom counter and trapped her between my aching arms. Leaning down with a chuckling smirk, I trailed the tip of my nose across her cheek to her ear. "You sounding like you care makes me think you've forgiven me some."

This tense distance between us chipped at me with each passing day of the last two weeks. To see the dullness in her eyes when she would look at me, the apprehension, and what hurt the most was when I caught a glimpse of her love for me, only to have her put the walls up.

Sighing softly, Juliet lightly smacked my bare chest with the bloody rag in her hand. "Some, not fully." She remarked with a flat smile.

"I know, but some is better than none." With one hand on the counter's edge, I moved the other one to cup her face. "And with you, I will take anything." Anything to ease this distance and guilt within me—anything to move us to a better place.

Her fingers poked and prodded at my chest for a moment before she looked up at me with those round brown eyes of hers. "What would you have done if things didn't go your way? Would you have forced me to marry you? Or what would you have done?" Her breath picked up ever so slightly as her eyes grew unsure.

I opened my mouth to answer her, but nothing came out. I couldn't reply to her because I literally didn't have an answer. "I don't know." Groaning internally, I bury my face into the crook of her neck, inhaling her addictive scent to keep myself rooted. "I'll be honest, I didn't think that far because I don't plan for it to go that far. I mean, I kind of did, but it was a shaky idea at best. I thought of making up some excuse of you going to college and us reaching some other agreement."

Her back arched awkwardly as she leaned away from me and used her hands to push my head away. "Do you not want to marry me?" Now that was a loaded question, and the tone of her voice made me feel like I was fucked no matter the answer.

The nervous bob of my throat surely wouldn't have gone unnoticed by her eyes as I staled for a good answer. "W-well, uhh… It's not that simple. I mean, back then, you were still trying to figure everything out, and I had a lot I didn't want to put on you. Also, it wouldn't have been fair of me to possibly try to put something as a relationship onto you back then." And deeper and deeper my grave got—and I was digging it.

"Luciano." I snapped point blank with a glare. "Yes or no. Do you want to marry me?"

Without a millisecond of hesitation, I answered her from my heart, "Yes. I do not want to spend the rest of my life with anyone else besides you. You are the person I want to wake up to every morning and come back to every night. The only person I can ever imagine starting a family with. The only person I want to be the mother to my children." I don't know what came over me, but I couldn't stop. Words continued flowing out of my mouth like a broken dam as I held her face lovingly in my hands. "You make my life so perfect yet tear it all up at the same time. I want to be good to you, be the man you need and want, the one who won't smother you and put your flame out."

Leaning our foreheads together, I closed my eyes for a second. "But by God, I want to be a monster sometimes because you are too perfect to let go. I am so fucking obsessed with you now that if you tried to leave me, then I might just snap and lock you in the basement. I don't ever want to let you go."

I hated the two sides of me when it came to Juliet. The primal side that craved to dominate and consume her, and the sensible side that wanted to be good and steady. "It's such a storm inside of me whenever it comes to you. I want to hold you to keep you safe in my arms, feel your warmth against me, but at the same time, I want to tighten my arms around you and trap you against me forever." I strained against her lips with a scowl to myself.

"Oh, Luciano." The wicked yet adoring smile and glint in her eyes made my own furrow together in confusion. "Hearing how crazy I make you just… Mhmm fuck!" My groan, along with hers, echoed throughout the bathroom in response to her nails raking down my chest. "Who would have thought that the broken girl you hit with your car months ago would be your wife." She mused against my lips with a devious giggle.

"I love how crazy you are for me. I don't know how to explain the feeling, but I get such a rush when I feel wanted and desired by you. Hearing how much you need me, like how you need air, makes me feel important to you." The faint feeling of her lips ghosting over mine caused my eyes to flutter shut in anticipation. "I would have hated you so much if you did make me marry you back then or any time after, but I might have eventually gotten over it because it's not like you're a bad person, personality and look wise."

A wave of disappointment washed my eyes open from the lack of warmth bathing my face. With a frowning pout, I looked at Juliet, who had pulled away in confusion. "I hate how there is no sense or reason to all of this. I mean, yeah, how the truth came about was a nuclear bomb, but truthfully, there was no good way for any of this to come about." Her eyes dampened with a reluctant acceptance as she smiled sadly at me. "If it came out earlier, it probably would have sent me into a spiral. Now? Well, we went through the blowout. Later? Probably another petty argument."

Sighing longingly, she leaned into me, wrapping her arms around my torso and hugging me tightly. "And I also hate how I understand and agree with your decision to keep all of it from me. You shouldn't be keeping anything from me, but honestly, if things went your way, then I wouldn't know a single thing, and we'd be on our merry way." The seething in her tense words made me shiver with guilt because she was right.

Truly, I had no plans on telling her any of it and let it settle to dust once I took care of everything. It hurt me to think about it now and back then, but it would have been best for all of us if she knew nothing and remained ignorant. The unfortunate part of it all? If I had a chance to redo all of this, I would do nothing different except take care of the problem sooner to prevent Juliet from finding out.

Call me a shitty person, I didn't give a damn, but I only wanted to do what was best for Juliet, and that would have been the best.

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