Page 46 of Cardinal

Luciano

It felt amazing to wake up to Juliet in my arms like this, and I hoped this wouldn't be the last.

We've slept together before, but not in an intimate sense. She would often come to me in the middle of the night whenever she had a nightmare and couldn't calm down, or I would go to her if I heard her screaming in the middle of the night.

No feelings were attached before, just two friends who sought and gave comfort. At the very least, I never felt intimate waking up to her after a bad night; it also felt wrong to feel anything but sympathy during those moments. If anything, I only ever wished I could take away her pain and suffering in those times.

The irony of her worrying about our relationship being unfair because I wouldn't be able to have sex with her made me want to laugh out loud. It was all unfair to her, in my opinion. She was the one who had to continue suffering because of what was done to her, and I couldn't do anything about it to help her take any of it away. I could easily take care of my own problems with my arousal, a luxury she doesn't have unless she could be rid of those memories permanently.

It wasn't fair that her love life got torn to shreds before it even began. Her joys of a good relationship were ruined because of those bastards; even if she wanted to enjoy things, she couldn't. I could only give her so much and hope it all goes well. I would always be right behind her, picking up the pieces and helping her patch herself back together, but ultimately, it was up to her to make things stay.

Afraid this dream would fade, I held her slumbering form against me tightly. "Lo giuro, non conoscerai mai la sofferenza per mano di qualcun altro con me." I vowed to the both of us then and there.

Not a moment later, Juliet stirred in my arms and peered her sleepy face up at me. "Luca?" She struggled to blink her squinting eyes as the morning sunlight shone on her face. "Too early… Sleep more." She whined, pulling the covers over her head and shimmying into bed.

"Tell your buddy to go back to sleep." Her muffled voice came from under the covers, making me laugh softly. "I don't wanna see him yet. My throat still hurts." She whined with a light smack against my stomach.

"Well, remember that next time you think about trying something with me," I remarked with a deep laugh before yanking the covers off of her protestant body. "Come on, time to get up, principessa." I urged her with a pat on her bubbly ass. "We have breakfast and a lot to talk about."

That only made her groan and pout while sinking into the bed more. "It's too early. Go work out, then come get me." She bargained with a sleepy glare. "And go fix my balcony."

"I already have some men on it," I assured her with a roll of my eyes before climbing out of bed. "You aren't going to hide behind the corner and watch me work out today?" I teased her with a knowing smirk.

The way her face blushed up with embarrassment before she hid under the sheets again was too adorable not to chuckle at. "You aren't exactly sneaky." At least, I didn't count hiding behind the corner and peeking her head around sneaky. "I don't mind it. It's kind of adorable." From her, it was; it made me feel desired by her in a strange way.

After pulling the sheets off to kiss her on the forehead, I tucked her back in and continued my morning routine, leaving her to stew until it was time for breakfast. Juliet wasn't too thrilled about me dragging her out of bed and throwing her over my shoulder to take her to the dining room. At least she didn't fight me about actually eating breakfast, as in I didn't have to load her plate up and make her eat what she needed. I wasn't trying to fatten her up, just making sure she ate a healthy amount; otherwise, she'd eat so frugally that it concerned me. Granted, she has gotten better about eating, but it was a bad habit from her parents, and we haven't fully broken it yet.

"Don't run off anywhere, Juliet. We still have to talk." I probably didn't have to tell her because there weren't many places she could run to avoid our talk, but seeing her try to shuffle away out of the corner of my eyes had the words coming out before I realized it.

"I won't. I'm just grabbing my blanket, and then I'll be on the couch." She replied in a defeated voice before the sounds of her soft footsteps disappeared down the hallway.

True to her word, I found her bundled up on the couch in her fluffy pink blanket, watching something about coding on the TV. I almost didn't want to disturb her, but it was better to rip the bandage off sooner rather than later. "Pause it or turn it off, Juliet," I told her in a firm voice as I sat beside her and pulled her into my lap, blanket and all.

Carefully, I positioned her to straddle and face me, wrapping her blanket around her shoulders and securing it before looking straight into her eyes. Then, the dreaded question, "Do you want to give a relationship a try with me? Given everything you have seen and know about me." Brushing her hair out of her face, I continued, "If you have any hesitation or reluctance, then I do not want you to engage with me for your sake." Looking at her seriously, I told her, "If we are going to give a relationship a try and make it work, you need to be in it a hundred percent."

Juliet's tension eased from her shoulders as her chest deflated with her exhale and bright smile. "Yes, I want to, and I shouldn't have hesitated that night of the fight, but I am more than sure now after thinking about it." A shaky breath rose at her chest, and her throat bobbed with her nervous swallow before a small smile worked its way to her lips. "I'm not going to lie. I am scared, but I trust you." Her confident words and sure smile brought a happy smile to my face when I felt my clenched heart relax.

Hugging her tightly, I kissed her forehead. "You have no idea how much it means to me to hear that from you and see how much you mean it. I swear, I will never abuse the privilege you have granted me." I promised her with a passionate kiss, letting her steal my breath and soul away with our connected lips.

"Have you done any kind of research, or god forbid, asked Aidan about anything?" Best friend or not, I still didn't like the thought of him discussing anything sexual or BDSM related with Juliet when I could easily have that conversation with her.

Giggling softly, she nodded in response, "I Googled a lot of things, and I talked to Evie and Leah about whatever questions I had. If they didn't know the answer, then they asked Aidan for me to save me some embarrassment and awkwardness."

"Well, what did you learn then? Did you discover anything about yourself?" I was genuinely curious and wanted to see if I could gauge her confidence and where she could possibly land on the scale of BDSM relationships.

Humming softly, she nodded before averting her eyes down to her twirling fingers. "It's kind of weird for me to process still, and it feels kind of weird to talk about it and to be into the lifestyle." She struggled awkwardly with her words, but I was proud of her for getting it out instead of withholding her thoughts and feelings.

Curling a finger under her chin, I tilted her head up to fix her gaze back onto me. "Is it something that you see yourself fitting into or rejecting? I know the lifestyle isn't for everyone, and it is still somewhat taboo even today." It definitely wasn't something that was everyone's cup of tea.

Even if someone were interested or involved in BDSM, it all varied so much. Some lived it twenty-four seven while others a scene here and there. Then, there were others who only liked certain aspects of it all and wanted certain things out of dynamics.

"With you? Yeah… If we're compatible." She sounded wary and almost sad even though we hadn't even started. I guess she still saw the glass as half empty rather than full.

"Well, tell me what kind of relationship you see yourself engaging in, what kind of dynamic, what you want out of a dominant and submissive relationship, just everything that you can think of. I want you to dump it all on me so I can gauge where you stand." I encouraged her with a warm smile and stroke of her jaw.

Taking a few deep breaths, Juliet shifted around nervously in my lap, and I let her have the moment to settle herself because pushing her would do no good right now. "Well, I guess I am kind of a brat… It's weird to think about it and accept it, but I kind of fit the general description of liking to push your buttons and challenge you to get a rise out of you. I also do it because I want you to snap, to punish me for being uppity, which is weird because I shouldn't even like the thought of punishment, yet I get so turned on thinking about you grabbing me by my neck or hair to bend me over and spank me or to keep me on edge and never let me come." Her words came out like a whirlwind and so small that I almost missed them.

Chuckling, I grabbed her face in my hands and squished her cheeks together. "Slow down. Don't be embarrassed or ashamed about any of it. I am never going to judge you for your kinks and fetishes. Trust me, I would be the last person on earth to do that." Unless she was into something very taboo, like wanting to cannibalize someone and have sex with their corpse, then I might question her sanity a little.

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