Page 102 of The Pakhan

She was so playful. When I walked her into the bathroom, she gave me a huge smile. “Are you taking one with me?”

I gently knelt, easing her into the water.

“Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch.”

“The sting will pass, my cherished one,” I told her. “And no, enjoy your bath and I’ll bring you a glass of wine. I’ll hunt up something for dinner.”

She studied my eyes, even opening her mouth to say something but nodded.

I tossed her the netting ball from the shower, trying to act nonchalant but it was tough. This brought back unwanted memories. When I turned away, I felt a tremendous tug on my heart, both from feelings from the past and from the present.

“Why do you think you killed your wife?”

The question was out of the blue. She seemed to know me far too well, realizing what I was thinking and feeling.

“Why does it matter?” I asked in retort.

“Because it affects everything you do including with me. You’re a man ridden with guilt and that’s why the moment we get close, you always pull back. Just trust me, Vadim.”

“As I said, I do.” I scrubbed my jaw, trying to find the words that wouldn’t gut either one of us. It was interesting how tough that was.

“Please trust me. I care about you.”

Suddenly, the words just flowed. “Tonja had to take Sofiya to the doctor. She was running a high fever, was crying uncontrollably and my wife hadn’t gotten much sleep. I hadn’t either given a near war that had escalated with the Irish mob. I’m not using that as an excuse, but we were both drained. She begged me to come with her. I adamantly refused. I was even ugly about it. I was horrible enough to tell her that she had one job, caring for our daughter.”

She said nothing as I sighed, trying to regroup.

“Anyway, she called Daniella’s mom, hoping she could come with her. Fortunately, Danni was with her babysitter. Anyway, Daniella’s father insisted on coming as well. Tonja left in a huff and I made phone calls. Fucking phone calls.”

“You don’t have premonitions. You couldn’t have known.”

“Maybe, but I should have known better than to allow her out of my sight. The mood in the city was horrific, syndicates at each other’s throats. It was a bad time. I even ignored one call from Tonja about an hour or so later, figuring she was just calling to tell me she was on the way home. It was a mistake. My Capo called only ten minutes later and said my wife’s vehicle had been targeted. One of my enemies had managed to cut her off from the men assigned to follow her. By the time they got there, she was… She was already dead, her body riddled with bullets. So were Danni’s parents.”

“Oh, God.”

“Yeah. Our final words were ones of anger, not that we loved each other. She had to ask friends for help, unable to count on her husband.”

“And Sofiya?” Caroline asked oh-so quietly.

“She was okay, left unharmed in the backseat.”

“Did you find out who did it?”

I found myself laughing, still not able to turn around and face her. “I almost beat the shit out of the Irish mob leader at the time, but it was a former soldier I’d fired. He knew the routine with my wife and he knew how best to destroy me as he’d said I had his life.”

“Jesus.”

“Yeah. All because I’d caught him drinking on the job.”

“What did you do to him?”

I thought about her question. She wanted the truth about me so she might as well have it. “I gutted him like a pig and I enjoyed every moment of it.”

Caroline

It wasn’t every day that a man told you he was responsible for the deaths of his wife and her friends. His admittance had bothered me and while I could understand his feelings of guilt, he hadn’t been the reason the asshole had taken any of the three lives.

Should the fact getting close to him was a dangerous proposition bother me? Maybe. At least that’s what rational people would do but I wasn’t that woman. I had been or so I’d thought but the truth was that I’d just stopped living. I’d existed, trying to be a good girl like Daddy had taught me while the bold streak in me had managed to get out by the way of hacking.

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