Page 103 of The Pakhan

See where that had gotten me.

The bath had been amazing, the wine some of the best I’d ever had. Vadim had even brought in a candle, but I’d known he wasn’t staying. He was shrinking back into the dark prison he’d placed himself into. I knew that.

Sighing, I was determined not to get sad all over again, as I’d done while taking the bath. I’d taken so long the water had nearly gotten cold but it had been the most luxurious thing I’d experienced in a long time.

Maybe it was time to face facts that he could never just be with me. He’d always be with the ghost of his wife.

He certainly had a reminder in Sofiya. She was a dead ringer for her mother. And Daniella must also keep the wounds fresh. God, I hated thinking this way.

My bestie, who I hadn’t talked to in ages, would tell me to try harder to get my man. But could he ever be my man?

Groaning, I tied the sash on my robe, not feeling like dressing at this point and certainly not in anything other than my favorite ratty pair of sweats and a tee shirt that had been washed until it was completely faded out. What I craved was very simple.

Chinese takeout food and a movie. Maybe even falling asleep on the couch. It had been both my comfort food and my peaceful enjoyment, getting my mind off whatever was going on. Well, if he did manage to wrangle up something for dinner, it would be because he’d forced one of his chefs to come back and prepare a gourmet meal. How could I tell him that’s not something I could stomach?

Caviar and lobster? Not this girl.

Give me a huge pizza slathered in pepperoni and cheese, a bucket full of Kung Pao chicken, or even a hot submarine from one of the big gasoline franchises and I was happy. Of course, it would need to be smothered with extra cheese slices, jalapenos, and avocado to be perfect along with a bag of barbecue chips. Now that was junk food extraordinaire.

I was almost able to laugh as I left the room. I couldn’t see the man eating much more than filet of beast or maybe prime rib, both rare as could be. Yep, he was a meat and potatoes kind of guy. As I headed down the stairs, I listened to ensure we were still alone.

I stopped at the bottom, struggling to figure out what I was hearing. That couldn’t be music. I’d never known him to enjoy music. He’d rolled his eyes when Sofiya, Daniella, and I had been frolicking in the pool to whatever heavy metal band or eighties band Daniella liked at the time.

After taking a few more steps, I realized the artist I was hearing. Andrea Bocelli. I was a closet classic lover, including aspects of opera. He’d been one of my favorites through the years. This was so unexpected.

So was the glorious scent that drew me in the opposite direction of his office, his usual perching grounds. What was it? Definitely not lobster and caviar. I took cautious steps and I wasn’t certain why I was acting like some boob.

The mouthwatering scent led me to the dining room. I didn’t know he used it but there on the table was a feast meant for twenty, maybe thirty people. “What the hell?” As I walked inside, I was struck almost immediately by the cartons. Not only had he called in takeout food but there was Chinese and pizza and…

I walked closer, squealing like a kid. It was all my favorites and then some, several bags of chips and cookies and three kinds of pizza, including my beloved pepperoni and extra cheese. And Kung Pao chicken!

“How? I don’t…” I couldn’t even finish the sentence.

“Don’t you remember the sweet sixteen birthday party I threw for Sofiya?”

His voice was different than the anguished one from before. I had to think about what he was getting at. I laughed so loudly I placed my hand across my mouth. I’d been an opinionated little bitch back then, insisting I handle the food arrangements.

“Oh, my God. I thought you were going to blow a gasket that night. You had a room full of guests and Sofiya managed somehow to convince you to allow me to choose the food for the evening and for all the guests. When a handful of delivery drivers showed up expecting money and a tip, you didn’t budge.” I turned around to face him.

He chuckled. “I was pissed as shit but do you want to know something funny?”

“What?” I walked closer.

“I’d never seen my two daughters happier in all my years. All the expensive gifts I’d purchased, the birthdays that I’d thrown with fabulous caterers hadn’t meant anything in comparison to them being able to enjoy food I never thought they should have. You were determined, including having five kinds of ice cream brought in for the birthday cake. You even picked out the music, switching it to some heavy metal band when I wasn’t looking.”

“You were angry enough I thought you were going to shatter everything glass in the house. At least your guests didn’t seem to mind.”

“Mind? Several of them told me as they were leaving it was the best party they’d attended in years.” He took two steps closer. “So I wasn’t angry for long. Maybe I learned that night that simple could be better.”

“But how did you know this was my favorite food?”

“Because you had such a strong relationship with my daughters that you would never even think about suggesting food they didn’t like. That meant you had to love it too. Oh, I might have five kinds of ice cream in the freezer too.”

I threw my arms around him, pressing my face into his chest. “I love you, Vadim. You did this for me? It’s so special. I love it. Just love it. Thank you.” When he stiffened and remained quiet at the same time, I realized what I’d said. I froze, hating myself for feeling too free around him. As I pulled away, I couldn’t seem to look in his eyes. I didn’t want to see disappointment in them. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. I didn’t mean it. I just was caught up in the moment.”

I pulled away, turning around immediately.

But he was having none of it, jerking me around to face him and driving me against the heat of his body. “You better have meant it, zavetnyy. Because I’m never going to let you go. Not under any circumstances or for any reason. I’m tired of playing the fool. No longer. Get that through your pretty little head of yours. You’re all mine.”

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