Page 103 of The System

“Missionary on repeat?” Carina teased.

“Yes,” Kieran said with a laugh. “But nothing before or after. Foreplay was kissing my neck for about thirty seconds. Can we talk about this? It feels weird. You’re naked and on top of me.”

“If I’m being honest with you, hearing about you being with someone else hurts, but I know it shouldn’t. You had a life before you met me. I had one before you. Neither of us is a virgin, so it was bound to come up, but I want you to feel comfortable talking to me about anything you need to talk about, Kieran. I get the impression, from what I know of Diego already, that he wasn’t the best at this part of the relationship, either.”

“Talking about feelings? No,” Kieran said with a little laugh. “But how much of that was his fault, and how much was mine? Don’t get me wrong; he’s an adult. He owns his actions. But I’d never called him on them until I was ready to leave. He’s gone years thinking we were fine, but then we’re in counseling, and he’s finding out we’re not, and I’m gone after that.”

“I think you both own your parts, whatever they are, but he also had to be open to picking up on the fact that you weren’t happy, and I’m doubtful there. I want you to always talk to me like this, okay? I don’t care if it’s before sex, after, or when we’re at dinner or even just walking on a beach somewhere. That’s what being in a relationship is to me, Kieran. I told you before that I want this with you. I had this feeling deep down somewhere that you and I were just… We were going to work like this.”

“I’d say we work and then some,” Kieran joked and wrapped her arms around Carina’s neck.

“Then, let’s have that slow, romantic lovemaking now. I have to start learning all those spots sooner than later, right?”

“I think you’ve already learned a couple of them.”

“Yes, but there are way more than a couple, and I’m going to be incredibly dedicated to locating each one, memorizing them and how they make you come, and then spend the next few dozen years or so doing that over and over, if that’s okay with you.”

Carina lowered her lips to Kieran’s and kissed her, but all Kieran could think about were those few dozen years. Carina was in this. She’d given Kieran a garage door opener and was going to give her a house key, too. Kieran, having no experience, had no idea if this was really a normal thing two women did together or if it was just Carina who had liked Kieran for a while before Kieran was ready to say the same and be like this with her. Even if this wasn’t normal, and even if it was moving way too fast, Kieran didn’t care. She wanted this. She wanted the few dozen years. Hell, she wanted all the years and wished they’d met when they were younger. Maybe if Carina had been in law school where Kieran had gone to undergrad, they would have, and they’d have been together this whole time.

At the same time, back then, Kieran hadn’t been who she was now, and being terrified of life outside the walls of her dorm probably wouldn’t have allowed her to trek over to the law school building and meet the future love of her life. She wasn’t sure if Carina was that yet. There was still so much to learn about each other and experience together. For example, these pillows behind Kieran’s head and the one under her back in an awkward position were a little much. They’d knocked a few off the bed while they’d been busy, but it was still full of them, and some of them, at least, would have to go.

As Carina kissed Kieran’s body slowly everywhere, leaving not an inch of skin untouched by her lips, she moved her hands over the flesh she’d just kissed. Kieran hadn’t ever been touched like this before. Her body was hot. Her skin was flushed. Her brain was trying to think and process, but it was having a hard time keeping up because Carina really was trying to find all her spots, including the sensitive one on Kieran’s right hip that, if touched just right, turned her on like crazy, but if the graze was too gentle, it made her ticklish all over. When Kieran laughed, Carina looked up at her and smiled, and God, it was a perfect smile.

“Tickles?”

“Yes,” she said.

“I love that laugh. Will you do it again for me?”

Kieran placed her hand between Carina’s ready lips and her hip.

“You should know that if you tickle me there too much, my entire body gets too sensitive, and I can’t handle anything.”

“Ah,” Carina said. “Well, we don’t want that right now because I have plans for you.”

“But,” she added and went to remove her hand. “If you touch it just right, it’s not ticklish. In fact, it’s kind of like this little button.”

“A button, you say?”

“Over the years of touching myself, I’ve discovered that if I touch it hard enough but not too hard, it really turns me on.”

“Really?”

Kieran nodded and said, “You’ll be able to tell.”

“How?”

“Put your hand there.” She nodded downward.

“As you wish,” Carina said and moved her hand between Kieran’s legs.

“Move inside.”

“I was going slow.”

“Just watch,” Kieran told her.

“Oh, I don’t know that I can agree to that,” Carina replied as she slipped her fingers inside. “Show me.”

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