Page 102 of The System

Carina, who was lying next to her on the bed facing the ceiling, laughed wildly. Kieran rolled onto her side to face her and raked her eyes over Carina’s naked body. She’d never seen a woman naked up close before. Not being one to have a gym membership, where women, according to TV shows and movies, stripped down naked in the open and walked into showers where they talked to each other throughout, and not being one to change in front of the other girls before high school PE class, she hadn’t paid much attention when the few other girls removed their bras carefully under their shirts and slid on sports bras or quickly yanked off pants and skirts to replace those with their required shorts. And even if everyone in that locker room had gotten naked, it wasn’t like any of them would’ve stared. No teenager wanted to have other bodies to compare their own to, but they also didn’t want to get picked on or made fun of for staring when they shouldn’t. Kieran hadn’t ever felt the need to look before, but she stared now, and today, it was even better than just looking because she could touch Carina. She had touched Carina.

“So romantic,” Carina teased as her laughter calmed down.

Kieran smiled at her and grazed Carina’s skin with her fingertips. Carina’s eyes closed as she let Kieran touch her. Kieran didn’t want to compare, but she’d only had sex with one other person, so it was too hard to avoid, and thoughts of being with Diego entered her mind. He wasn’t the worst lover in the world, or so she assumed, but he’d never let her do anything like this after sex. Not that Kieran had wanted to, she realized as she encircled Carina’s nipple with her index finger. The male body wasn’t particularly one that made her want to slowly touch and gaze at, take in, kiss everywhere, and revel in. Diego was an attractive man, but he wasn’t beautiful how Carina was beautiful, and after sex, he’d usually been impatient and ready for sleep when she’d been ready to try again because even if she’d had an orgasm, it had probably been a small one and her body could have used another. Other times, he’d be wired, but not for more time with his wife. He’d want to go to work.

“What are you thinking about?” Carina asked.

Kieran turned to see that Carina’s eyes were open and staring into hers now. She’d been caught.

“Honestly?”

“Well, I don’t want you to lie to me, so, yes, please.”

“Diego.”

“Oh,” Carina let out, taken aback a little. “That was unexpected.”

“Not like that,” she replied and kissed Carina’s nipple. “That this was… better.”

Carina still looked hesitant.

“I’ve only ever been with him, so my mind went there. I’m sorry. I don’t mean to take you out of the mood.”

“You didn’t. Just keep talking.”

“You want me to keep talking about my ex-husband?”

“The part where this is better, yeah.” Carina winked. “But the rest of it, too.”

“Maybe not now,” Kieran suggested. “I still want to touch you more.”

“You will,” Carina said as her hand moved into Kieran’s hair. “I love your hair. It’s so soft.”

“Really? Diego hated it.”

“How could he hate this hair?”

“He hated that I got it cut short,” she explained. “It’s a whole thing. None of the other partners’ wives have short hair. Honestly, they all have hair like yours.” She laughed a little. “That’s long and perfect and goes up into a clip that, I assume, their husbands like taking out and letting the hair flow like a waterfall cascading over perfect shoulders.”

Carina laughed and said, “Okay. I’m going to take that as a compliment.”

“You should,” Kieran replied. “And I suppose I was thinking about something else, really. It just masked itself with the Diego thing.”

“I’m all ears.”

“Well, this is better,” Kieran said. “Not just the sex, which was definitely better.”

“We’re just getting started. Wait until I learn every spot on your body that makes you scream.”

Kieran swallowed and asked, “Are you a fast learner? Like, steep learning curve or–”

Carina laughed and moved them until she was on top of Kieran, smiling down at her.

“All of this is better. I thought Diego was the perfect guy when I was younger. He wanted me when no one else did – or, at least, I thought that no one else could. When he came back to me after law school, I thought I’d had it all. I thought love was finding a man who loved you. I don’t think I ever really explored my feelings for him beyond the fact that he made me feel good about myself. Compliments about my gaming skills and how smart I was were just too good to pass up.”

“I’m not sure love is just giving someone compliments,” Carina shared.

“I know. But I was young and insecure. When we got married, I just settled into the life that he wanted and what I thought normal meant. I think I was more frozen than anything, numb to the reality that I was unhappy because that was what I thought happiness was supposed to be. It took me years to wise up and longer to actually leave him. When he and I did this, there was nothing romantic about it, and I can’t think of a single time when he tried to do something different than what he wanted.”

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