Page 43 of Finding You

“Yeah?” Dallas wasn’t a hundred percent sure he believed his friend.

“Trust me, I do. Life is hard. Navigating the world as a single dad is harder. Throw in confusion about your sexuality or whatever—it’s the fucking worst. But you don’t need to panic. It’s okay that you don’t want to fuck me. I prefer this.”

Dallas let out a weak, watery laugh. “Me too. I just…” He gave a frustrated growl and scrubbed his hands over his face. “I wasn’t like this with him last night. I was smooth as fuck.”

Adele raised a brow at him.

“Shut up. I was. I was…Jesus, I was happy and confident. I felt good, and I wanted to make him feel good.”

“Honey, I’m sorry, but I don’t understand the problem here. He likes you. You like him. You’re happy and confident with him.”

Dallas glanced away. “I haven’t told him how I feel.”

“Oh.”

“And I don’t know if I can. What if it doesn’t last? With Katie, I really liked her too. I wanted her. But it didn’t last, and I still kind of wonder if it was me that broke her.”

Adele’s face fell, and he lifted up, sliding onto the chair beside Dallas. “You didn’t break her. If she was suffering because of that, she could have come to you. She made a shitty choice, and she’s continued to make shitty, vindictive choices since then.”

Dallas understood that. He’d gone over that in therapy, and he’d mostly accepted it. But he realized he was still afraid. He didn’t want to fuck someone else up. He wanted to be happy. “What do I do?”

“Talk to him,” Adele said. “Tell him you’re still figuring your shit out. Tell him that you like him. Tell him what you’re afraid of.”

That sounded terrible, even if it was the best advice he could get. “What if,” he asked slowly, “he’s fine with it. So we’re together. And then…”

“And then?” Adele pressed when Dallas hesitated.

His gaze cut down to his hands, which were sore from how hard he was wringing them. “And then we’re happy. But years later, he realizes that it’s not enough for him—that he needs someone more…” Normal. “Like him. And he ends it.”

“That’s a risk you’re going to have to take,” Adele said, not sugarcoating anything. “And you’re going to have to trust the answer he gives you.”

“But he might not know,” Dallas said, his voice barely above a whisper. “He might not know it until it happens.”

“I know,” Adele said, and Dallas realized there were no answers. There were no solid promises either of them could give each other.

There was just hope. And he was really bad at that.

For the first time in a long while, Dallas felt at peace. The sun was shining, the park was damn near empty in spite of it being a Saturday, and he wasn’t alone. Katie hadn’t fucked with his visitation schedule, so he had Audra, who was squealing happily as Gage pushed her on the swings.

Frey had called him asking if he wanted to meet at the park, which Dallas happily agreed to. Rex was apparently feeling restless, and Gage was babysitting Briar so Lane and Bowen could take care of wedding stuff.

Apart from the lingering turmoil in his gut, it was the perfect afternoon.

“Why do you look like you got a dildo stuck in your ass,” Frey asked him. “You didn’t actually get anything stuck up there, did you?”

Dallas choked. “What is wrong with you?”

Frey smiled. “I’m a jaded former ER nurse.”

“You were in labor and delivery. Then orthopedics,” Dallas accused.

“You’d be surprised the weird shit expectant parents try to go into labor is all I’m going to say.” Frey rested his arms behind his head and stretched his legs out.

Like Adele, he was objectively gorgeous, but also like Adele, there was no spark. He wouldn’t have thought anything had changed, except when he closed his eyes and thought about kissing Kylen, he got hot all over.

“There’s that face again,” Frey said.

Dallas shrugged and shielded his eyes from the sun as he looked at his daughter. Audra was squealing happily as Gage pushed her in the swing. Rex and Briar were on the big plastic castle playing pirates, and off in the distance, he could see another car pulling up, which probably meant more kids.

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