Page 65 of How We Fooled

“Fuck yeah,” Ben says. “That song’s fire. Kiss on her lips just like cyanide.” He sings out the lyrics, making even Maya raise her eyes at him since we’ve never really heard him sing out loud like that.

Dalton strums along with the song, trying to figure out the chords, which I know he’ll have down by the end of the day. It’s a sad song about wanting someone who doesn’t want you back and knowing you’ll just get hurt in the end.

I don’t relate because zero part of me feels that way about Liza. We’re meant to be. Every aspect of our being together screams so, and I know we will be together after all of this high school bullshit is over.

I’m familiar with the song Dalton mentioned, but there’s another Warren Zeiders song I like better, and if I can’t wrap my arms around Liza the way I want to, I’ll show her how I feel with this song.

Even though I told myself I’d stay off my phone while I was here, I pull up the song and send it to her, singing in my head the lyrics I’m addicted to you, you’re addicted to me as I do so.

I hit Send and quickly put my phone back away so I don’t get lost in talking to her while I’m here.

Liza

My phone dings with a text message from Eli. There are no words, just a link to a YouTube video for a song called “Sin So Sweet” by Warren Zeiders. I click on it and lie back on my bed, where I was going through some papers to prepare for tomorrow’s lesson.

The song has a rock-country vibe as it starts off, but when I hear the lyrics say, If holding you’s wrong, don’t call me right, I know exactly why he sent this to me.

That’s the problem I’m struggling with the most. If being together feels so right, how could it be so wrong? The pain inside me screams that being apart is wrong, but there’s no way to make it right.

Tears fill my eyes at the thought of what we would be doing right now if we could be together. I can just imagine him sitting beside me, watching a football game, being lazy for the afternoon, and not caring one bit as long as we’re together.

Then, I remember that he’s at Ben’s house with Dalton, another student of mine in his same class. Who knows what other students are there with him? The thought turns my stomach, and I put down my phone.

What am I doing?

Eli

Liza barely spoke to me last night once I got home. Here I thought, I was being romantic, sending her that song, but I feel like it backfired on me. I just don’t know why. I looked in her classroom this morning, and she wasn’t there, so I head to our couches, not paying attention to anyone around me, and type out a message to her.

Good morning, beautiful.

I’m startled when I feel someone kick my leg.

“Who are you always texting? Every time I see you, you’re off in your own world—more than usual, I mean,” Dalton asks.

Maya perks up from his comment and faces me. “You know, he’s right. I do see you texting on that a lot. And since we’re all here, we know you aren’t texting one of us. So, who are you texting?”

I raise my eyebrows as my only response, not having a clue of what else to say.

“Well?” Dalton asks again.

I hit Send on the message, then place the phone in my pocket. “Don’t worry about it.”

Ben walks up right then, slapping my shoulder. “Yeah, he’s got new pussy. God forbid we know who though.”

He picks up Maya, sits down, and places her on his lap.

She slaps his chest. “Don’t be so crude.”

He shrugs. “Just stating facts. It’s Eli. You know that’s all it will be.”

Maya looks at me with a sad expression. If she only knew just how sad this entire situation really was …

It’s not until I walk into her classroom that I get to see her for the first time since Friday. I don’t waste another moment when I pick up my phone and text her again.

Are we good?

I put my phone away in my bag, knowing she’s not going to respond during class anyway.

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