Page 86 of How We Loved

Once I’m out of the shower and dressed, I head to the barn.

“Look who finally decided to grace us with his presence,” Dalton yells out.

I flip him off again, which is seeming to be the only thing that gives me a tiny bit of joy today, and plop down on the opposite side of the couch that Maya is on.

She hops up to walk away, and I say a silent prayer that she does. When she returns, shaking a water bottle that she obviously put a Nuun tablet in, I kick myself for thinking that way.

She hands it to me, and I take it from her.

“Thank you.”

She grins and goes back to her place on the couch, where she watches the football game on TV.

I look at the water bottle, seeing she put two in this time. She always knows exactly what I need.

I toss the bottle to the side, half wanting to not take it because she gave it to me and half telling myself I’m just putting it there until it dissolves before I drink it.

That’s how fucked up in my head I am right now. I’m even lying to myself about a fucking water bottle.

I glance around to see who’s all here and pause when I realize someone is missing. “Where’s Eli?”

“MIA, like you were,” Dalton replies. “Not sure what’s in the air today, but can’t say it’s been a blast, trying to figure out what’s going on.”

“Do you think he’s seeing someone?” Natalie asks.

“He has to be. There’s only one reason you would go missing like this. Girls can do some fucked-up shit to our hearts and our minds,” Dalton says.

Without thinking, I lift my fist in solidarity to his statement. “Amen, brother.”

Natalie slaps his chest, and he pulls her into him.

“You don’t think it’s true? Do you know what I went through those days without you?”

“You? Imagine what I felt like with my dad in jail because of you!” Natalie says with a laugh even though she’s stating facts.

Dalton closes his eyes with a shake of his head. “Okay, fine. We’re even.”

She lets out a loud laugh. “Not even close.”

“Hey, I went to jail too!” he retorts.

She sits up slightly to see him better. “Yeah, for setting my field on fire!”

I laugh at their antics, just happy to have some sense of normalcy in my day. These two are something else, but I’m glad they finally have their shit together.

I can’t stop myself when I glance over at Maya. The way she looks at me stabs me in my heart all over again. Every part of me wants to get up and leave, but in no way will my muscles allow me to do so. I’m stuck here in a constant battle in my head, and I’m about to lose my fucking mind.

CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

Maya

I’ve never felt so out of place at Ben’s house as I sit, curled up in a blanket on the corner of the couch. I can’t figure out what’s going on with Ben. I know I caused a lot of shit, but now, he won’t even talk to me. Yet he came to my rescue in the blink of an eye.

He’s sitting on the opposite side of the couch, just staring at the TV. I understand why he’s not lying on me in some fashion, but he’s not even talking or yelling at the game, like he normally does. Today, he’s stoic, like a statue.

I’ve really screwed things up between us, and it’s obvious with the way he’s acting.

How could I throw our relationship away for a guy?

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