Page 86 of Pippin & Nacho

A woman soon popped up on the screen. She was really pretty and young. Younger than I thought she’d be. I didn’t know what to expect, really. She had blond hair that was wavy to her shoulders, and she wore glasses. But it was her smile that drew me in.

“She’s on, baby,” I said.

“Hi, are you Nate or Sam?”

“I’m Nate.” I pointed the camera from Sam’s phone down at him so she could see he was there.

“Hi there, Sam. I’m Dr. Emma Tucker.”

“Hi,” he said, with his face buried in my stomach. His body was tight, and it trembled.

“She looks really nice, Sam. You should see her.”

He shook his head.

“It’s okay. You don’t have to look at me. Whatever makes you feel safe, Sam. I understand you’ve had some past trauma with doctors. It’s okay to be afraid and nervous, and I’ll do my best to make you feel comfortable. Hopefully, in time, you’ll come to trust me. And I will never betray that trust.”

He nodded his head.

“He says okay,” I tell her.

“Today, we’ll just get to know each other, and perhaps get you a prescription if I feel you need it. Just remember that no one can hurt you over the phone, and you have your best friend with you.”

“Best boyfriend,” he said in my stomach, making me smile. She did, too.

“I stand corrected… best boyfriend.”

God, I hated that he was so afraid and reduced to a nearly child-like status. I hoped this doctor was good for him and finally got him to open up. Sam really needed this.

“You’re very brave, Sam, to do this. Nate must be special indeed.”

Sam finally sat up and looked at the phone, but snuggled into me. “He is.”

She smiled again, and Sam rested his head on my shoulder.

“You two are lucky to have each other.”

“We are,” I said and kissed his head.

“I’ve received the email with both of your backstories. It’s understandable why you would have iatrophobia, Sam.”

“What’s that?” he asked.

“A phobia of doctors, or anyone in the medical field, really. I’m going to be honest here. We need more fighting against conversion therapies. It needs to be banned globally, but it’s a hard fight. They keep pushing them, claiming they work, but all they do is make you all afraid, and most of it borders on abuse. Some are worse than others. It really needs to be abolished, and I’m so sorry you were forced through that as a child. I wish you had someone to turn to for help, but many children do not. You’re not alone, Sam. I also want to put out there that doing group therapy, talking to others who have gone through conversion therapy, could help you, too. Finding others like you helps validate your fears and they push you to accept what you’d gone through without internalizing.”

We talked for nearly an hour about Sam and me. She used the paperwork we’d filled out to understand our situation, and Sam had taken an online screening for ADHD, among other things. It had been long and arduous, but he got through it. Eventually, he’d have to go in for a more thorough testing with scans.

Despite me being here, this was mostly about Sam, but since we were so closely tied together, she worked with me, too.

Sam slowly warmed up to her. He still trembled and played with my hair for comfort, but he periodically talked to her and answered her questions. It was a promising start, though I wasn’t sure he’d even do that were we forced to go to her office.

“Okay, the hour is about up. I’d like to prescribe you some ADHD medication and anxiety medication. We’re going to start with a lower dosage and work our way up until you see some improvements. I need to talk to you once a week, Sam. It’s important because I need to make sure the meds are working and that you’re making progress, and then see if we can’t get you to open up more. I think you’ll find the medicine will help with that. ADHD medicine can sometimes exacerbate anxiety, so I need to monitor it closely.”

“Okay,” he said.

“With therapy and medication, hopefully, you’ll feel better enough to come in for further testing.”

She gave instructions on how to take the medicine and how often. I made notes so I wouldn’t forget and to make sure Sam took them.

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