Page 68 of Pippin & Nacho

“Then how did you go to the hospital last time for stitches?”

“They had to sedate me.”

“Well shit. Why didn’t you say anything?” he asked.

I drew my knees up and wrapped my arms around them. “I’m messed up… and I don’t want anyone to know how much. My friends and family are all I have. What if you hate me? Everyone hates me. People get so annoyed and frustrated all the time. I have blanks in my memories… I don’t always think clearly… everything…”

“You’re fine. Right, Nico?” Stone said.

“Yeah, of course, you’re fine. We don’t get annoyed with you. We adore you.”

“That’s because you don’t know all of me. If you did…”

Stix rested a hand on my shoulder. “If we did, nothing would change. Dude, we’re all fucked up.”

Stone sat next to Stix on the sofa and pulled him close. “I used to say the same thing about myself, Pippin. Nico here was the one who saw beyond my broken walls and accepted me. I never felt I deserved it, and I had been such a fucking asshole to him, yet he gave me a chance, anyway.”

I looked up at his hazel eyes and dark hair spilling in his face, hair he used to keep short but had grown out since. “Yeah?”

“Yep. I can talk about my past now because I’ve been in group therapy, but my parents used to abuse me. They were homophobic, too, and took it out on me when they caught me kissing a boy once, but honestly, they’ve always been abusive shits. It really fucked me up, Pip. Nico has really helped with his patience and understanding.”

I thought about what he’d said and nodded. “I’m so sorry you went through that. I… really understand it. Was… therapy scary?”

Stix kissed Stone’s cheek, looking at him as if Stone held the stars up in the sky.

“Yeah, it really was, but Nico was there with me every step of the way, and it helped a lot.”

I swallowed the lump in my throat. If Stone could do it, I could, too, right? Maybe. I needed to do fucking something. Changes needed to be made.

“Will you help me get to the hospital?”

The very idea made the nausea roll around and burn a hole in my stomach, but I needed to do this for Nate. He deserved so much more, but I had to at least try.

“Are you sure?” Stix asked.

I nodded. “I want to try.”

Stone leaned over to look at me. “Let me ask you this… Did they hurt you in a hospital or something? Like a hospital where Nate is?”

I shook my head. “No, just when I got stitches, but it was… okay.”

“So, it was just the doctors?”

“Yeah… And the nurses.”

Stix nodded with thoughtful dark eyes, eyes like Nate’s. They were chocolate brown, deep, and intelligent—eyes I needed to see again, to know if Nate was really okay, like Alpha had said. He needed me to be strong.

Choke back the fear for my North Star.

“Hmm… Maybe if you realize you aren’t going to be there to visit a doctor personally. You’re just walking into a building and straight to Nate’s room. That’s it. We can stand guard outside the door and ask the doctors and nurses to stay away for a while,” Stix suggested.

Sometimes my anxiety and panic became so overwhelming that rational thought would leave me drowning in fear, doubts, and insecurity. I often felt like a failure, especially so since I couldn’t be there for Nate. I needed him. He needed me. Could I do this? Maybe.

Stix stood, and Stone followed.

“Use your earbuds with some chill music or something. Would that help?” Stix asked.

I nodded. “Yeah, I think so.”

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