Page 67 of Pippin & Nacho

Fucking hell.

“Yeah, okay.”

“Sam is going to have to pick up some of the slack, too. I’m sure he can do that, but we’ll all be around to help out.”

I was just glad Sam was back with me. That was the only thing important to me.

Nate was in the hospital because of me. He had to be. I ran off, and he ran to find me. I had no idea if it happened that way for sure. Maybe he only headed out to get groceries instead, which led to his accident. While I was a mental fucking mess, I wasn’t stupid. He had to have been looking for me. Why else would he have been out there in the rain? I ran, and he chased after me. That had to be it.

God… and I couldn’t even visit him in the hospital.

I paced our living room, gnawing on my lip ring, twisting my hands together, wishing my feet would fucking move outside that door and go to the hospital. Nate needed me, and I wasn’t there for him.

Sweat gathered in my pits, forehead, and upper lip. My face flushed hot, making me dizzy. I swallowed the rising acidic bile.

“Just go. One step outside. Then another. And another. You go outside all the time.”

Right, but I did it, knowing I was headed to a safe space.

I pulled out my phone and texted Alpha for the hundredth time today.

Me: Is he okay still?

Alpha: Yes, Nacho is fine, Pip.

Me: Is he mad at me?

Alpha: He’s not mad at all. He understands why you can’t be here.

Me: I need to be, but…

Alpha: You don’t need to explain. It’s fine. Nacho will be home in two days.

Me: Okay

Two days would feel like two months without Nate. There would be no holding him in bed, no soothing from my nightmares, no kissing…

The sudden pounding door matched my pounding heart. I rushed to it and looked out the peephole to find Stix and Stone. I opened the door to let them in.

“Come on. We’re here to take you to visit Nacho,” Stix said, walking in and looking around the apartment. We didn’t have our friends over often, and I couldn’t remember the last time Stix had been here.

“I-I can’t.”

Stix frowned and threw his arms up in the air. “I don’t get it. He’s your best friend and now your boyfriend. You two claim you love each other, and you can’t see him? What the fuck, Pip?”

My breath came out in pants as my hands twisted inside each other. I backed away from Stix as if he’d snatch me away and make me go.

Stone rested a hand on Stix’s shoulder to calm him down. “Something’s off, baby. There’s clearly a reason Pippin isn’t visiting Nacho.”

Stix folded his arms and raised a brow at me. “Well? What’s wrong then?”

God, did I want to tell my story all over again? It had been painful the first time, but it wasn’t as bad telling someone I didn’t know as well because I didn’t care if they liked me or not. But Stix and Stone were different. That should’ve been a clear indicator that I needed to see a doctor and that I could talk to them since they were a stranger. If only I could just push past my fear of them.

“It’s… a long story, but Stone’s right. There’s a reason. I have… a phobia of doctors. The anxiety and panic skyrocket at the very thought of seeing one. I can’t breathe… so much sweat. My heart hurts in my chest. I-I…” I slumped on our old couch and ran my hands through my hair before gnawing on my thumbnail. “I want to be there for him so much…”

“Well… fuck,” Stix said, sitting next to me. “I had no idea.”

“No one does. It’s from some… past trauma.”

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