Page 35 of Chaos Unleashed

Without the Void, I’m nowhere near powerful enough. I’m becoming weaker by the second, even now; in this dream world, I can feel the effect it's having on me, and not just my physical body; I’m mourning the loss of the Void. It’s like I’ve been cut off from a vital part of my existence, which I suppose I have.

H shakes his head, “You can. I know it’s hard. I am real; this is a dream, but I am real, Ren, and you just confirmed that you are, too. If you are real, then I can help you, but it’s going to be hard; it’s going to hurt you more than anything that you’ve ever been through. But you can do it. You’re so strong. You need to fight for me, your guys, and especially you.”

Somehow, his words trigger the fight in me. I thought it was gone, but it flickers, and as the guy's faces flicker through my mind, this time, they look at me with determination, not sadness; their expressions are begging me to fight, not to give up, and it’s working.

I feel my face dip into a frown, “How? You’re a figment of my imagination.”

He frowns heavily, worry clouding the determination in his eyes, “I’m not Ren, I just told you that. I’m going to need you to focus.”

“You’re not a figment of my imagination?” I question because my memory is getting cloudy.

“No, Ren, I’m not,” he confirms, “now, I really need you to focus, okay? We’re running out of time.”

I nod. I can feel that we’re running out of time, but I want to fight. I do, so I take my good hand, the one not missing a finger, and dig my fingers into one of the many wounds on my leg.

“Ren, why the fuck did your pain level just spike?” H asks, no demands.

I sigh, my voice clearer and my mind more focused, “As fucked up as it is, pain has always grounded me and cleared my mind, helped me to focus. I’m in worse shape than I have been, I think ever, thanks to a change of circumstances, I guess you could call it, anyway; because of that, I have no idea how long this clarity is going to last, so whatever it is that you have to tell me, I suggest that you do it quickly.”

H’s eyes fill with a small amount of relief, “There she is. I have to warn you that this isn’t going to be easy; it’s going to feel like you’re being torn apart.”

“The alternative is death, and I'm used to pain,” I reply, my fingers still buried in the wound.

“You’re fucking strong, I know you can do this.” He pauses, “I’m going to give you as much of my magic as I can while we’re in this dreamscape; I’ll help you as much as I can.”

I nod; I’d deny him his offer to help, but one, I don’t think it is an offer he’s telling me that’s what he’s going to do, and two, I instinctively know that if I have any hope of surviving this, I’m going to need him.

Images of my loved ones flash through my mind again, possibly for the last time, but they slip by too quickly; it’s not until the image of me tearing apart the princes, grinding them down and pulling at their souls that the flame of desire to live blazes to life.

Revenge.

That’s what I will cling to throughout this pain.

I'd worry about what it says about me that revenge is what makes my will to live and fight grow brighter, but honestly, there’s no point. I’m either going to die from the wounds inflicted by the princes and my lack of access to the Void, or I’m going to die trying to get to my magic.

“Whatever you’re thinking about right now, don’t let it go. It’s lending you strength, and you're going to need all the strength you can get.” H says.

My smile is sharp and no doubt bloody; I’m sure he’d be horrified if he could see me, but I reply, “Don’t worry, this image isn’t going anywhere. Now, what do I do.”

“I can show you how you can access your magic; if it works, you’ll still be in the cell. I can’t help you escape from there,” he warns me.

My smile grows, “Perfect, I need to visit a couple of princes anyway.”

H’s eyebrows rise as he looks surprised, “If you manage this, you’re going to go after them for revenge?”

“You bet your fucking arse I am,” I reply with absolutely no hesitation.

“I knew I liked you,” he smiles, and then leans back further, his arms still around me as his face becomes serious, “I need you to sink into your centre where you would usually find your magic.”

“I can, but it's wrapped in so many spells,” I explain.

He nods, “Yes, and this is where it’s going to hurt like a motherfucker. You’re going to have to attack yourself; you need to pull, tug, and claw at the spells; you’re going to have to tear yourself apart and hope like hell that you get to your magic before your body gives up completely.”

I wince as nerves start to build, I can’t help it. What he’s suggesting that I do is horrific, intense, and not something that anyone would ever recommend you try; it’s practically suicide.

But I have nothing to lose and potentially a whole lot to gain. You know, my life, my men, revenge.

“That’s it?” I ask when he doesn’t carry on talking. “No spell, no other instructions, just attack myself.”

---