Page 34 of Chaos Unleashed

My thoughts pause, I’m not in pain, it’s fading. I can feel panic start to rise before that too fades; I feel the cool darkness start to encroach quicker, not my usual darkness, not the comforting friend that I love. No, this is the end. I thought I would be scared, but I’m not, I’m relieved even though I know that I won’t see my guys again.

If I’m granted the honour I’ll watch over them, from wherever I end up, because I have a strange feeling that I’m somehow not going to end up here. The guy's and H’s faces flash through my mind one last time, bringing a soft smile to my face before the darkness drags me under completely.

Chapter Twelve

Farren

My heart leaps, I’m here, I'm in the cell.

“H?” I question, hope screaming through me dangerously.

My men aren’t here, but I’ll take what I can get at this point, and if I get to see my light, then I can fade completely, more at peace than I was seconds ago.

“Ren, fuck Ren,” H’s panicked voice echoes around the tiny cell as he tries to step toward my corner, “what the fuck have they done to you?”

I smile. It’s so nice to hear his voice. The peace it brings me. It’s incredible that he can do that for me, and I’m so fucking grateful.

“Ren?” H’s voice asks again, “It’s bad, it’s really fucking bad. My magic is panicking, and it’s never panicked before.”

“I’m tired, H,” I manage to say, and wince when my voice comes out weak, barely above a fucking whisper.

I shuffle closer to him, trying to get as close as this weird barrier will let me. I want to soak up as much of that peace as I can before I die. I’m not naive, this is my last wish being granted, I’m dying as we speak, when this dream ends so does my life.

His panicked eyes search my corner as he moves as close as he can to the barrier as well, and I force myself to shuffle so I’m standing in front of him. The only reason that I can walk right now is because I’m dreaming, and his magic is trying to fix me. It’s a last mercy that I’ve been granted.

“I know, Shade, I know,” he replies.

“I want it to stop hurting. I don’t want to be in pain anymore.” I whisper as a sudden wave of excruciating pain comes over me; it’s so strong that it makes me gasp, and my knees buckle beneath me.

Shock courses through me as I land against a solid chest, and strong arms wrap around me.

“It's okay, Ren, Shade, I have you,” H says as he pulls me further into his arms and sinks to the floor as my hands clench weakly in his shirt. “I’ve got you.”

“You can see me?” I gasp.

“No, just feel you.” He says just as quietly, holding me like I might break.

The thing is, I am already broken, and right now, I want to feel comfort.

“Can you hold me tightly,” I ask. Usually, I’d feel embarrassed about such a request, but now is hardly the time to worry about such ridiculous shit.

He takes a big breath as I feel his heartbeat pound under my ear, “I don’t want to hurt you; you’re already in so much pain.”

“Please, H,” I ask, “it’s my last chance to feel something other than pain.”

His arms tighten around me immediately as his breath stutters in his chest, and his head comes to rest on top of mine. My eyes fill with tears as I feel wetness drip onto my head.

This giant, terrifying demon is crying for me. I don’t like that.

“It’s okay, H, don’t cry for me,” I say, trying to comfort him. “I’ll be okay. I’m ready to go, I’m in so much pain. I don’t want to hurt anymore.” His arms wrap around me tighter, as more tears drip down onto the top of my head, “I know we haven’t really talked about it, but since this is the last time I’m going to see you, I figure what the fuck, if you are real I need you to find me those guys that I started telling you about. I can tell you their names and where to find them in the Shadowlands.”

Somehow, his hands manage to find my cheeks, and he gently turns my face to his. His eyes are closed as he rests his forehead against mine, and I once again marvel at the fact that I have a connection like this with him. We stay like that for a moment before his eyes open; when they meet mine, not that he can see me, his eyes blaze with determination, and when I say blaze, I mean they’re literally alight.

His grip tightens on my cheeks, his thumbs instinctively rubbing away the tears that have overflowed, “Fight, Ren. You have to fight. I need you to fight this.”

My heart breaks, “I don’t think I can, I want to, I do, but I’m so tired.”

I know he wants me to fight; I can see just how much he wants me to in his blazing eyes. I can feel it in how tightly he holds me, and I want to, I do, I want to fight for him, for the guys, for Poca, Meri and Oryn, but I don’t think I’m strong enough.

---