Page 124 of Daydream

“Yeah, every morning before I leave my place.” He drags his hand through his hair. “You don’t need me to swoop in and fix things for you, I know that. But if you need a friend to be with you while you fix things yourself, I can do that.”

“I want that. Thanks.”

“Sasha is with Stas right now. She’s decided to piss off my dad by claiming she wants to go to Maple Hills, so we’ve been tasked with keeping an eye on her until she goes on a college tour tomorrow. I have a game tomorrow night, but I can find an hour around lunchtime to see Faulkner with you. Even if I just sit quietly.”

“Thanks, Nate.”

“I think you need to get out of this room, buddy. Come for dinner with us tonight. The guys need to see you alive and kicking. Stassie needs to see you alive and kicking.”

“I haven’t been a good friend to her this year. I hardly see her anymore, and she never comes around, but I guess I never invite her and—”

“You know she cried and said the exact same thing about you? That she’d failed you by not being around. That somehow she could have prevented this if she’d seen you more. You’ll both survive this. You’ve got that weird, pseudo-sibling thing going on. I always think I should call Sash more, and she only calls me when she wants something. It’s normal. Did you know Stas met Halle?”

That makes me sit up a little straighter. “No… when? What did she say?”

“Not a lot. She was at Halle’s looking for you before she found out you were at your parents’ house. She said Halle clearly missed you, and that she was very sweet and even prettier than she was expecting. Something about a type of cat someone else has that’s apparently a big deal. I can’t remember.”

“I miss her, too. I want to call her, but I know that she’ll drop everything to help me sort my mess out. She drops everything for everyone. She never puts herself first, and I know if she finds out I have assignments and studying to do, she’ll prioritize me. I told her I needed space and I’d fix everything, and right now it doesn’t feel like it could get worse.”

“Come for dinner. The guys can help, but don’t worry too much about it, Henry. You didn’t ghost her; you didn’t just disappear with no explanation. It sounds like you told her how you were feeling, and you set her expectations. Maybe don’t feel like you need to apologize to her and feel more like you need to thank her for letting you take the time you need.”

“I don’t remember you being this wise when you lived here.”

Nate laughs again and the cloud truly feels like it’s lifting. “I don’t remember your room being this tidy.”

IFEEL LIKE THE WEIRDfamily member turning up at a wedding with the way everyone stares at me when I walk into the restaurant with Nate.

I take the seat next to Sasha, who is the least likely person to give me a headache, but then I remember that people can talk across tables. “It’s givingNate is your favoriteenergy,” Mattie says as I put my napkin across my lap.

“I said I’d be able to coax you out of your depression pit, but Russ wouldn’t let me try. Golden retriever to guard dog likethat,” Kris says, snapping his fingers.

Bobby is unusually quiet, but it doesn’t last long. “Can’t help but feel like I fucked your life up, dude. Sorry about that; he was just saying all that stuff and I could tell you were trying not to rise to it, but he went too far and I just thought fuck it.”

“I’m glad you hit him.”

Bobby smiles. “I’m glad I hit him, too. Faulkner knows and has been making my life hell as you would expect. Why didn’t you tell him, Hen? You could have just blamed me and avoided this whole mess.”

It’s a question I’ve been asking myself for the past two weeks. It was only after I left, when the adrenaline had worn off and I was retracing every second of what happened, that I realized I hadn’t told Faulkner that my swollen cheek was from me getting out of the way. That Halle hates fighting, and she would have been so disappointed. That I don’t need to fight someone like Will because I’ve already beaten him in every way by getting to be loved by Halle. It was all too late, though, and rehashing the events with Faulkner felt like the least of my problems.

“I honestly don’t know. I wouldn’t tell him what Will said because I didn’t want to embarrass Halle, and he said something about maybe I shouldn’t be captain, and I felt relieved.” I take a deep breath. “I don’t like being captain.”

A silence spreads across the guys and Russ is the first one to speak. I notice Aurora isn’t beside him. “Then why do it? Why not just step down?”

I shrug. “I didn’t want to let you all down. You all believed in me.”

“Fucking hell, Henry,” Kris groans, rubbing his forehead with his hand. “We believe in you because we love you, you fool. You could tell us you wanted to start, I don’t know, fucking show jumping and we’d believe in you. You don’t need to be something that makes you unhappy for us.”

“What he said,” Mattie says.

Bobby frowns a little, my eyebrows pinch together. “I’ll be honest,I’d have my doubts about a future equestrian career because I’ve seen how much you fuck around on leg day, but yeah, don’t do something just for us or whatever Kris said.”

Anastasia is unusually quiet, and when I look to her she shakes her head. “I just love you and want you to be happy. Whatever that looks like.”

The doors open and JJ walks in looking nothing like the weird relative at a wedding. “I heard we were holding an intervention. Has Nate made some corny speech yet?”

“Not yet,” Robbie says. He’s at the end of the table beside Lola, also staying quiet. “I’m sure it’s coming. You’re looking at me, Hen. But I don’t have anything to say. I’ve got your back whatever you do. I’ve always got your back.”

JJ takes the empty chair on the other side of Sasha and leans forward. “Let’s talk about how you un–fuck up your relationship with the love of your life.” Everyone groans, including me. “What? He’s going to need something big.”

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