Page 6 of The Only Goal

That bastard!

That cheating slimeball.

Anger rages through me—a sudden hot flash of it that’s unexpectedly strong and vehement, but it’s quickly followed by a wave of heartache.

He’s cheating on me.

My husband is having sex with another woman.

I can feel the rain clouds building inside me—a brewing, black depression that’s going to drown me.

You can’t let Kai see that!

Clenching my jaw, I run my fingers through my son’s black hair and will my voice to come out soft and easy.

“You know… Daddy’s gonna be real busy for the next little while, so we might stay away for a little longer. How do you feel about that?”

Kai nods, his big brown eyes so innocent. So trusting. He’ll believe anything I tell him, because I’m his mommy, and he knows I’ll never hurt him or let him down.

But I will. It’s inevitable. It doesn’t matter how hard I try, I’m going to let him down.

My soul hurts and aches in ways I didn’t think possible, and it’s making these tears even harder to fight.

“Where are we gonna go?” His voice is so sweet.

“I’m not sure yet. Mommy’s going to come up with a plan while you sleep.” I try to smile, but I don’t know what the hell my mouth is doing.

Kai’s face folds into a frown. His short little fingers touch my cheek, and he strokes my face. “Don’t be sad, Mommy. We’ll have fun just you and me.”

Oh, my heart.

It’s melting and hurting and bursting with love all at the same time.

My smile turns genuine as I lean down and kiss his forehead. “Yeah, we will, kiddo. We’re gonna have the best time.”

He wraps his arms around my neck and gives me a tight squeeze before he finally rolls over and settles down.

I kiss him one more time, tucking the covers up around his shoulders before shuffling to my bed.

My phone buzzes with yet another message from Hudson. He’s been calling incessantly, and I haven’t answered once. Because I can’t right now. He needs to leave me the fuck alone so I can process this shit.

Jumping into a hot shower, I stand under that spray and relive what I saw. I don’t want to, but my mind is cruel and uncontrollable. I see her boobs rocking, watch him pinch her nipple.

I hate that feeling. I never liked it when he tried to pinch me. It hurt, and I wasn’t into the whole pain and pleasure thing. He tried a few times, spanking my ass and nipping my skin. He even shoved his finger up my butt once, and I shot off the bed like he’d burned me.

I told him I wasn’t into that, and he sighed and pulled me back onto the mattress, returning to the soft caressing I enjoyed.

Is that why he’s cheating on me?

Because I’m not adventurous enough in bed?

I press my palms against my nipples, then squeeze my boobs. Boobs he’s licked and sucked. But not the only ones he’ll ever enjoy. My body starts to shudder with these dry sobs, and my legs crumple. I land in the hard bathtub with a soft thud. Curling into a ball, I let the water rain over me and finally let it out.

I don’t want Kai to hear me, so I press my mouth against my knee and let those sobs rack my body in agonized silence.

What the hell am I gonna do now?

Where am I gonna go?

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