Page 5 of The Only Goal

He does as he’s told, his little body quivering with eagerness. I chuckle and pat the top of his head before clipping on the lead.

“Raf-raf!” He tells me it’s time to go, and I walk him out the door, the cool night air kissing my skin.

I should have grabbed a jacket, but I’m not going back in again.

I just need me a minute.

A long, quiet one.

Gazing up at the stars, I’m transported back to those summer nights when Tammy and I would sit on the back lawn, pointing out constellations to each other and making up funnier stories of what those Greek gods really got up to on Mount Olympus. She’d have me in stitches every time.

Will I ever hear her laugh again?

Not like that.

Not like the way it was—all carefree and unchecked.

She’s a married woman now. A mother.

Things will never be the same.

I lost her.

And it kills me.

CHAPTER 3

TAMMY

It’s raining by the time I find a motel and get Kai settled for the night. My bare feet get frozen and saturated, but that doesn’t seem to matter. Seriously, wet feet are the least of my worries.

“Where are we?” Kai’s sweet little voice and confused expression nearly breaks me, but I manage to paste on a smile.

“We’re having an extra-special adventure. Just the two of us.”

He’s smart enough to know something’s off, but he gives me a small smile and snuggles against my chest as I dash through the rain and up the motel steps. I could hold on to him forever. He’s my teddy bear. My comfort. I want to sob against his soft hair and cling to him.

But I can’t do that. Because his needs always come before my own.

So I put on a brave voice and somehow find a smile. “Look, Kai. You get this whole big bed all to yourself.”

“Wow!” He scrambles onto it, and I let him jump and bounce around because I need to hear his laughter.

Then he takes a bath while I order pizza. I let him splash, and he giggles at the droplets running across the tiles. We eat while watching Octonauts, because that’s his favorite.

Somehow, I find the strength to read to him without crying. Thankfully, our bags were still in the car from our trip to Gladstone, so I have everything he needs on me. He loves my old Curious George books, and his delighted face as he taps his little finger on the page and laughs, “Silly George,” melts my heart.

I kiss his hair and smell his sweet scent.

You can do this, Tammy. You can be strong for him.

But as I’m tucking him into bed, he whispers something that makes my eyes glassy with tears. “Where’s Daddy?”

“Um… he’s still at home.” I try to swallow and nearly choke on the boulder lodged in my throat.

“Working?” His sad, resigned pout is a killer, but I nod, because I can’t exactly tell him what else Daddy’s been up to.

My stomach clenches into a knot so tight, it hurts.

---