Page 32 of The Only Goal

The pulse of desire that beats through me is intensely strong, and I jerk my eyes back to the safety of the scones so I can catch my breath before daring to look at him again.

“Yeah.” He rubs his face. “Sorry I didn’t get to it earlier.”

My eyebrows buckle. “Why did you do it at all?”

He glances down at Kai, who’s hovering behind his legs. “Thought it was about time I stopped looking like a big, scary bear.” He gives me a subtle wink.

And there goes my heart, melting to putty. Baxter has always been the sweetest, most considerate guy. That’s why he was my best friend.

Kai steps to the left, and I notice the hockey stick in his hands.

“Whatcha got there, kiddo?” I ask, then laugh when he gives me that hopeful smile of his. “What’s up?”

My gosh, he’s so cute. Those big eyes and that adorable face. My heart starts bleeding as I think about the way he has his father’s nose and chin. No matter what I choose to do over Hudson, a piece of him will always stay with me.

My son looks up at the giant beside him. They share a wordless conversation of some kind, and then Baxter chuckles and looks at me. “Do you mind if I take Kai to hockey practice with me this afternoon? He’s never played or seen a game, and I thought he might like it. He’s got quite the swing on him.” He lightly ruffles Kai’s hair, and my son’s smile turns shy and proud all in the same second.

“Sure, I’m okay with that. I can get you his booster seat out of my car.” Crouching down beside Kai, I squeeze his shoulder and quietly double-check. “You want to go?”

He bobs his head.

“Baxter will take good care of you.”

“Yes, he will,” Rachel pipes up. “Baxter’s the best.”

Now it’s his turn to look all bashful and proud.

He always was adorable.

I look up at his handsome face and can’t help grinning at him. His lips curl up at the corners, and I drink him in for a second.

I’ve missed you so much.

The words are right on the tip of my tongue, but I can’t say them. Instead, I go to grab my car keys and sort Kai out for his little adventure into town.

With Baxter.

Wow. That’s a shift from the day we arrived. It hasn’t taken much for my son to defrost in this place. It feels miraculous somehow. Kai’s always been a slow burn when it comes to people. He watches them carefully before sharing a smile. He studies from a distance and creeps into a game after he thinks he’ll enjoy it.

And now he’s willing to drive off with this man he barely knows so he can watch a hockey practice.

A man I trust, even though I haven’t seen him in years.

As I walk up the stairs, I can’t help asking myself that question once more. If I hadn’t chickened out that summer, would things have been different?

And yeah, I think they would have.

Sure, Kai wouldn’t exist, so obviously I’d never wish to change what happened. But for a fleeting moment, I let myself imagine that Kai is Baxter’s son. And it’s impossible to deny that my little boy would be having a very different life if that were the case.

CHAPTER 14

BAXTER

The arena is loud, a cacophony of slapping sticks, flying pucks, and skates slicing through the ice. My kids are working hard today, surprisingly motivated for a Thursday afternoon. There’s an energy in the air. I can’t explain why, but it’s buzzing and electric.

“Good job. Good job.” I clap. The drill I’m supervising is dynamite, and I’m getting great action from my little skaters. “Control the puck, Marty. You can do it.”

I put him in a different group to Shelby today, and it seems to be bringing out the best in him. No more “I’m taller” arguments distracting the friends.

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