Page 69 of Troubles

“No, I just…” I don’t know what I need. Well, I do, but he’s gone. “I just need some alone time. I need to figure this out, G.”

I grab some clothes and shower as fast as I can. I miss my bathroom. I miss my tub. I miss Aidan.

I get in my car and drive aimlessly. People are out, living their lives and I’m—I’m what? Sleeping on my best friend’s couch, because someone else is living in my old room.

Just like someone else is loving my old boyfriend.

I stop at the farmer’s market on my way through town and grab a couple peaches and a scone. Cold pizza didn’t do it for me earlier.

Without thinking, I drive north toward the river and head to the mansion. I sit on the massive stone deck, leaning against a marble column. Usually this place gives me such peace, a sense of calm. Today, my heart hurts and being here, looking out over the water does nothing for me.

I wander down to the gardens. The gardens. If I can’t get him out of my mind, I might as well surround myself with him. Make myself sick on the memories of us. Maybe then, I can purge them. I sit on steps where Aidan stood taking the picture of me that hangs on our bedroom wall.

My mind won’t stop racing through our time together. Looking for the signs I obviously missed. The signs that there was someone else and once again, I am temporary and easily replaced.

“Lisbeth, you have a minute?” Francie calls to me from the bakery across the street. I’d stayed in the garden far longer than I had planned and of course, got nowhere on finding a place to live. “Come, let me buy you a cuppa and a treat, yeah?”

With a quick check for traffic, I cross the street and run straight into Francie’s arms. He holds me tight and pats my back, shushing me until my grip around him relaxes a bit. He guides me inside and to the counter.

“Hey, Roxie, can I have a large iced coffee with almond milk?” I place my order and move to the side.

“A cuppa black for me and two of those chocolate tortes for us. Thanks, love.”

I hit the trifecta—groan, eye roll and smile at sweet Francie. “The chocolate. How’d you know I need that?”

“Figure we need it for our chat. How’re ya?”

He steps back giving me the lead to find a table. We settle in by the window and Roxie places our yummies in front of us and skips away. I want to feel that carefree again.

“I’m alright.” I shrug a shoulder and pick at the smattering of raspberries centered on the torte.

“Yeah? You’re not a very good liar. Never have been.” Francie eyes me over his steaming mug and chuckles. “Haven’t seen much of ye this week.”

I fight the tears and push a big sigh out through my nose, lips rolled in between my teeth. I shrug again.

“I didn’t really feel like peopling this week.”

“Stop playin’ wit’ your food and eat it already. Where’ve you been? Stayin’ wit’ Gracyn? Doesn’t she have a new roommate now?”

I nod, taking a bite of the dense chocolate cake. Trying hard not to think of all the times Aidan and I shared this dessert—the heat in his eyes as I slid the decadent confection off my fork.

“Mhmmm. I looked online for a new place, but I can’t afford anything on my own, and the whole strange roommate thing freaks me out. I-I miss?—”

“I know. Still don’t understand what happened,” he says.

I have nothing to say. I don’t really know what happened either, so I stare out the window and avoid looking at my friend. When enough time has passed, that he knows I’m not going to make eye contact, Francie pulls an envelope from his shirt pocket and places it on the table in front of me.

“He came by Sunday. Asked me to make sure ye got this. I held off hoping he’d come to his senses, but…”

I tear my eyes away from the pot of flowers I’ve been staring at and look at the envelope. My name is scrawled across the front of it. Aidan’s ridiculously beautiful writing over the top of an odd bulge.

“I don’t want it. I don’t need his excuses.”

I push it away, the bulge taking shape.

Nonono.

Tears form and hang on my lashes. “I can’t, Francie.”

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