Page 68 of Troubles

And I go back to the flat I shared with Lis for far too little time. Avoiding Lorna, I go straight to the bedroom and pack my bag, only what I need for work and a visit to my parents. The rest of my stuff I box up and move to the storage room off the kitchen.

38

Lis

Five days. He’s been gone five days and I’m pretty sure I’m dying.

He’s not even really gone, though. Or maybe he is. I don’t know.

I knew he would be in the city all week, I was prepared for that part. I was prepared to spend all weekend just being with him, neither one of us scheduled to work.

I never imagined that I would lose him.

Stupid.

So instead of hanging out all weekend with Aidan, I wake up on Gracyn’s couch again. Not that I really slept. I can’t.

“Hey, what are you doing awake so early?” Gracyn shuffles out and drops down in the corner of the couch.

“Not really sleeping all that great.” I push up so I’m sitting in the opposite corner, blankets all wrapped around me. “What did I miss? I just don’t understand, G.”

She doesn’t have the answer any more than I do.

There is no answer.

“You should come out with us tonight, Lis. Just for one drink—” She starts pushing as soon as I start shaking my head.

“I don’t think so. I…I have things I have to take care of today. I need,” Lord, this hurts, “I need to find a place to live.”

I twist the blanket around my fingers, avoiding looking at her.

“Nuh uh. This is your apartment too. You can stay here as long as you need.”

“I can’t. It’s not fair to you and it sure isn’t fair to Kate. She moved in here to get away from relationship shit, she doesn’t need mine.”

I’m feeling so sorry for myself, I can’t even pretend to hide it.

“Fine. Look for a place, but you can’t commit to anything today. Promise me. And come out for a drink with us. You can’t sit here all weekend, you have to get out.”

I open my laptop and start looking for a place to live while Gracyn makes coffee. There’s nothing. Nothing I can afford alone.

“Mornin’.” Kate stumbles out in a hungover haze and heads straight for the kitchen.

I know it’s fruitless, but I do a search for roommates wanted and come up empty there as well. Kate and Gracyn bring steaming cups of coffee and the rest of last night’s pizza, dropping the box on a stack of magazines on the table.

Kate dives into the pizza, not saying another word until she’s downed two slices. “So, you’re going out with us tonight?”

Jesus, it’s not even ten o’clock in the morning and the hungover kindergarten teacher is making drinking plans for the night.

I tilt my head side to side, not ready to commit. “Maybe? I guess?”

Kate nods like it’s a done deal—set in stone—while I’m still trying to think of ways to get out of going.

“I’m gonna run some errands this morning, I-I’ll be back later.”

I climb off the couch, starting back toward Gracyn’s room. She cleared some space in her closet for me but this needs to end. I can’t stay on the couch for much longer.

“Want me to come with you?” Gracyn is right behind me. Ready to catch me, like she knows I’m gonna fall.

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