Page 66 of Troubles

With a quick look around the room, my eyes land on the picture on Aidan’s nightstand. It’s from the beach. He’s squinting at me, the bright sunlight glinting off the water. We’re laughing, his arms thrown around me. Arms I thought would keep me safe, give me comfort.

Arms that will soon be holding and loving a new baby.

Willing my tears away, I twist off the beautiful ring he gave me and set it in front of the picture frame. My bags behind me, I rush through the apartment stopping only to grab my purse and keys.

I stumble on the stairs, laden down with my heavy bags, barely catching myself before I fall. I need to go. I need to be gone before Aidan comes back.

I shove everything into my car and drive straight back to Gracyn’s curling up on her couch and losing what’s left of my heart.

Aidan

My love-hate relationship with the pub is strong this morning. Finn insisted on ripping my arse, face to face, and I missed Lis’ text while he was stressing just how badly I’d fucked up with her.

“Fuckin’ watched ’er ’eart break when she walked in the door.”

His fist takes me by surprise, snapping my head back.

“Told ye I’d kick yer arse, if ye fuckin’ dicked ’er ’round.”

As his fist struck my jaw for the second time, it pounded home the fact that what she walked in on may have looked very different from what it was. I thought I would be introducing my best friend and the love of my life, but now I need to do a little crisis management instead.

Busting through the door of the flat, I call out for Lisbeth.

“She’s come and gone already. I was in the bath, but it sounded like she packed a bag and left,” Lorna answers around her cup of tea.

I push past her, striding into the bedroom. The bed is perfectly made, everything looks in order, but her case and computer are gone. Her drawers and closet empty. I pull out my phone and click on her contact. Six rings. Six hundred beats of my heart, and no answer. I try again. And again. I try until my calls are automatically rejected.

I send text after text. I’m on the tenth message when I see they’re not being delivered.

“What happened? What did she say?”

This is so much worse than I ever imagined. I turn, facing Lorna, pleading for her to help me make sense of this. My skin is too tight, and my jaw aches from Finn’s right hook.

Lorna gasps as she feathers her fingers over my swelling cheekbone. “Oh my God, Aidan what happened? Were you attacked?”

I push her hand away, shaking my head.

“Lorna, what happened?”

Tears cloud her eyes. “I’m sorry, Aidan. She said she made a mistake. That you were just a distraction.” She puts her hand on my arm trying to ease the bomb she just dropped on me. “She said if you love her at all, you’ll respect her need for time and a little distance. She suggested you go home, visit your parents while she sorts herself.” Tentatively, she wraps her arms around my waist, hugging me.

Resting a hand on her shoulder, I close my eyes trying to figure out what to do.

How often have I told Lis that I don’t want to be a distraction? That I won’t come between her and school. Maybe I pushed her too hard. Wanted her too fast.

She pulled back after our first dinner out, it took her weeks to come back ’round and talk to me. The time we spent in the garden and then the darkroom. That’s when things really changed. I should have held back, not taken advantage of the heat of that. Fucking hell, I couldn’t even help her study for her class, without having to push things further.

And then pushing her to move in—make this commitment.

I look at the wall above our bed. The picture I took of her in the garden, sunlight filtering all around her. The one of her soaking in the tub, bubbles spilling over the edges. Moments of love captured and frozen in time.

“Can you give me a minute? I need to talk to—” My voice thick with emotion, I realize the only person I want to talk to, is the one who needs space. The one who needs time away from me. I untangle myself from Lorna and wait as she closes the door softly behind her.

I sag down on the edge of the bed, elbows on my knees. I shouldn’t have left her last night. She needed me and I left. Finn was fucking right. I failed her when she fucking needed me the most.

I call Gracyn, desperate to know where Lisbeth is, but the call goes nowhere. She must have blocked my number.

The only thing I can do is give her what she’s asked for. All I’ve wanted was to help her, to make things easier for her. To give her the love and support she needed to reach her goal—and I fucked it all up.

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