Page 39 of Troubles

Maybe she won’t have to think about the answer at all when I ask her to live with me.

She lowers her menu and takes a sip of her wine. I reach for her free hand and pull it closer to me. My thumb over her knuckles, finger rubbing light circles on her wrist. “You look truly beautiful, Lisbeth.”

She smiles sweetly over the rim of her wine glass. “Thank you.” The waiter comes, takes our orders, and clears the menus, granting me the space to grasp both of her hands between us. “Is everything okay?” Her brows pinch together when she asks.

Jesus, I’m nervous. “It is. Just about perfect, yeah. Your classes went well so you’re set to graduate and be done after this term?” It’s taking everything I have in me not to blurt it out, and to wait for after dinner. I want to do this right—make sure she knows how much she means to me. Because she means so much.

“God, yeah. I can’t believe I’m almost there, almost done. It finally feels real, you know? Thank you for everything you’ve done to help me. I know we got side-tracked a couple times, but in all seriousness, I would never have made it through these two classes without you.” The flickering candle dances in her eyes. I could get lost in their depths. Jesus, they’re beautiful.

“Anything you need, love. I told you that.” The words want to spill off my tongue. “Lisbeth, I?—”

The waiter brings our food just then and the interruption gives me the break I need to find the strength, the resolve to hold off from acting a fool. I want to ask when we’re alone—in case she says no.

Lis thanks the waiter and waits a beat. Just a moment until he’s clear of our table. “You what? What were you going to say?” I’ve lost all ability to focus on my answer as I watch the fork slide through her lips. My God, this woman. “Aidan? What were you saying?”

“Tell me. Which was your favorite flat of the ones we looked at?” I know I’m stalling, but I have to know that I made the right decision.

“Uh…not the cat place.” She wrinkles her nose adorably.

“No,” I chuckle. “Not that bloody flat. Not at all.” I’m fidgety, and I know it. I want her in my life, every single day. “Tell me your favorite. The one you liked best.”

“Why do you want to know, Aidan?” I love that she’s asking. I love the challenge that bleeds through her question. She sets her fork down and clasps her hands together on the edge of the table, leaning toward me, and I decide this is the moment.

“Lisbeth, love. I want you to like where I live. I want you to want to be there. With me.” I don’t put my fork down. Instead, I turn it toward her and watch as she parts her lips for me. I watch as she wraps them around what I’ve offered her.

Locking my gaze on her, I wait. Wait for the questions, the answers—wait for what will either make my heart sing or weep.

I had a speech prepared—flowery, lovely words—but patience is not in my arsenal tonight. The small box in my pocket becomes an unbearable weight. And knowing full and well that she’s going to freak out, I pull it out and take the ring from its velvet nest.

Her eyes go wide and her fingers shake as she lifts them to her lips. Those lips that I want to capture. “Aidan…I…we…” Pink is tingeing her cheeks; her pulse looks like it’s beating frantically at her throat.

“Lisbeth, I would love nothing more than to wake up to you every day. I want you to help me choose a place to live because I want you there with me.” Her gaze bounces between mine and the ring in my hand.

“Aidan, I…”

“Do you know what this is? Do you know the significance of the Claddagh?” Slowly, she shakes her head. “Love, loyalty, and friendship. ‘With these hands, I give you my heart, and crown it with love.’” My words whisper their way out, quietly enough that she leans closer to me. I reach my left hand across the table with my palm facing up.

“Where and how it’s worn shows the true significance. Can I have your hand?” So slowly, she places her right hand in my palm. “On your right hand, with the point of the heart pointing toward your own means you’re in a relationship—a committed relationship. It lets the world know that your heart belongs to someone. Will you wear it that way?”

She swallows and nods her head with a barely audible yes. “Are you…does this mean you’re staying?” The fact that she questions that kills me.

“I plan to, yes. Lisbeth, I would love nothing more than to move you in with me and switch that ring to your other hand.” I place a kiss over the ring where it sits on her right hand, and then press my lips to the empty ring finger of her left hand. “I know that this is big. I know that I’m asking a lot of you and I’m asking it quickly. It scares the shite out of me that we’ve only known each other four months, but I love you, Lis. I don’t want to let you go. I want you with me.”

I hold my breath, waiting.

I can’t let the silence be. She hasn’t said anything yet, hasn’t responded, hasn’t made a noise at all.

“It’s down to two places. The smaller flat that overlooks the river is plenty big for me. But I feel like you were drawn to the townhouse closer to town—with the funky kitchen and the garden in the back. There’s room for a hammock.”

I glance up at her hoping for a sign, some indication of what she’s thinking.

“The one with the claw foot tub? The brick walls and wood floors?” Is it a good thing that her eyes are shining like that? I want to believe that it is.

“Yes, that one. Both are available right away. I can move next week, as soon as I get back from the city. The townhouse is just a three-month lease, but the flat is available for longer.”

“Which one do you want?” she asks.

“Lis, I don’t know how to say it any clearer. It doesn’t matter to me. I’ll have space, separation from the boys in either place. They’re good guys, I appreciate them letting me crash with them, but I’m ready to get out of there. The only thing that matters to me is that you want to be there.”

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