Page 38 of Troubles

As soon as the shower is warm enough, I get to it. Our hot water situation has gotten worse over the past couple months and I have a very limited amount of time before I freeze. Shampoo, shave, shower gel. It doesn’t take long for the water to cool, so I wrap up and think about moving to a nicer place once I graduate.

“You ready for me?”

“Does it matter? You’re coming in regardless.” Gracyn lost all modesty living in the dorms her first year of college. Sharing a community bathroom with fifty girls gave her that as well as the desire to move out as soon as the semester was done. I, however, had put up with digs from my mom and Maryse about my ass that was too big, my boobs being too much—my mom even suggested liposuction. So, I’m used to covering up as much as possible. I grab my robe and throw my towel around my hair.

Once my hair is dry, my body is moisturized and my toes are painted, Gracyn pushes me out to her room. “Tonight’s big? This date?”

“It feels that way. I mean, we’re celebrating the end of my summer classes. G, I’m gonna make it. I’m going to graduate; the hospital wants me. I’m gonna be okay. I won’t have to struggle anymore. We can move to an apartment with two bathrooms, and hot water.”

“What about Aidan? Didn’t you guys look at places over the weekend?” Gracyn still hasn’t talked to me about Gavin, and we’ve been kind of dancing around each other. Her helping me get ready for a date would have been nothing before, but now it feels like a big deal “Close your eyes, Lis—thanks. So, you talked to him, right? About what this is, how long he’s staying?”

“A little? Not really. We looked at some furnished places, three-month leases, that kind of thing, so he’ll be here into the fall.” I shrug, not wanting to give this more weight than it already has. “But his whole family is in Dublin, G. His parents and his brothers and sisters. He’s got nieces and nephews there. This, I mean, I don’t know. I think I’m falling in love with him, but what if I do? What if I fall completely, head over heels, can’t live without him in love and he goes home? What if he decides I’m not enough and he leaves me too? I don’t know that I’ll survive.” It feels safe talking about all of this with my eyes closed, like I’m in my own little bubble.

“Lis,” Gracyn sighs as she pulls my hair back over my shoulders, curling it as she goes, “look at me. You can’t go through life so guarded. Rob, your sister, even your parents have been shit, but that doesn’t mean you stop trying. And it sure as hell doesn’t mean that Aidan is like them. Ask him tonight, just ask him. You’re not making demands, but if you’re worried about your heart, and you have every fucking right to be, then ask the question. Knowing where things stand is the only way, you can’t ostrich this anymore.”

“God, you’re right. I hate it.”

A few curls tumble down the side of my neck as she works her way through the rest, pinning my hair low at the back of my head.

“I don’t hate it that you’re right, I hate that I’m so stupidly scared of getting cast off again, that I get all tongue tied and nervous.”

I reach up to pull at one of the loose curls, but Gracyn takes my hand, squeezing it gently. Her voice going soft. “You have nothing to worry about. Have you seen how he looks at you? Have you seen the fire in those stormy blues? That boy has it bad for you, Lis. Do what you have to do, ask what you need to ask and know that you are enough. You really are.

“Okay, let’s get you dressed now.” Gracyn pushes me out of the chair toward my room. “So he can think of undressing you all through dinner.”

The dress she has laid out for me is unreal. “Where did you get this, Gracyn?” I know this dress.

“Do you remember trying it on? When we went shopping for the party at my dad’s firm, and you were trying for funsies? I went back a couple weeks ago and it was still there.” She’s waiting for me to blow up, because this dress cost almost half of my rent. “Just stop. It was the only one left and on the clearance rack. Obviously, this was meant to be so just put it on.”

I slip into the navy fabric, settling it just off my shoulders. It takes a little wiggle to get it over my hips, but once I do, the side zips right up.

With a deep breath, and tears threatening, I look up blinking. “Gracyn, what…”

“I said stop. It’s not that big a deal. Here, put your shoes on.” She hands me my maroon patent leather peep toe heels and drops my phone, keys, and lip gloss into her clutch. “You look amazing. Lis. Absolutely amazing.” She’s like my very own fairy godmother.

“I don’t know what to say, Gracyn. Thank you…” Three knocks at the door and my head whips around.

“Go get him, Lis.” I turn to open the door and hear her mumble something that sounds a lot like, we’ll see if he can leave the fucking country after he sees this.

Aidan

The door opens and my heart stops. It stops and I can’t breathe. I brace my hand on the doorjamb, and pray that I remember how to breathe before I pass out.

More than beautiful—far beyond gorgeous. She is devastating in her navy dress hugging every one of her luscious curves like they’re a fucking gift just for me. With her hair pinned up, I trace the line of her neck to her bared shoulders and suck in a lungful of air. The dress wraps around her—caressing her chest, accentuating her narrow waist, molding to her hips. Just her calves peek out from below, but her shoes. Sexy-as-fuck dark red heels that I want to feel on my back with her legs wrapped tightly around my hips. Dear God.

Before I can find appropriate words to compliment Lisbeth, Gracyn pops her head around the corner.

“That’s the reaction I was going for.” She hands Lis a small purse and whispers in her ear. Her smile and the blush that runs up her neck is almost too much for me. “Have fun, kids. Make good choices.”

I hope. I hope she chooses Yes.

24

Aidan

The candlelight plays with the few tendrils of auburn curls that have escaped her pins. I can’t take my eyes off the exposed slope of her neck. It’s absolute poetry. As she studies the menu, I take my time studying her. Her eyes look brighter than usual against the dark makeup; her lips are a bold red, the bottom one caught between her teeth as if this is her biggest decision of the night.

Maybe it is.

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