Page 113 of Raven

“A week before the Bangkok opening.”

Oh, fuck.

The words slap me in the face. That’s over two months ago, before my deal with her. But then of course, I couldn’t be the only one who dug deep enough.

I look at Maddy, but she still doesn’t raise her eyes, studies her hands clasped on her lap like they are the most important business in the world.

Something doesn’t feel right. Did they talk to her about it before I came? Why else would she be so calm?

That’s when Katura finally sets aside her iPad and cocks her brow at Archer, who studies me, trying to read my reaction.

I’m calm. At least, I’m trying to be.

I hold Archer’s stare. “When did you tell Maddy that you knew?”

Archer’s gaze is thoughtful. “About that same time.”

I wish I misheard what he just said. But I didn’t. And the feeling of the floor sinking from under my feet is all too real.

That’s when Maddy finally raises her eyes at me.

“So, about two months ago, give or take,” Archer says, but I can’t look away from Maddy. “We talked to her and decided we will keep things the way they are for a while.”

His words sink in as Maddy and I stare each other down.

“Who else was in on this?” I ask quietly.

“Just Kat and I,” Archer says. “And Maddy, of course. I told everyone else just before you got here since things with Butcher are getting a bit troublesome.”

“A bit troublesome,” I echo, wanting to turn inside out.

Archer’s words fade in and out because blood pounds in my head as I still stare at Maddy, whose expression doesn’t change. But her stare says it all. I want to say that it’s almost triumphant. Because Maddy, Milena fucking Tsariuk, knew that her secret was out and actually made a deal with Archer before, fucking before I did.

Remember what Henry Miller said about women upsetting the balance of power?

Oh, fuck, how right he was.

That night, when Maddy and I stood outside Bangkok, Maddy had all the power on the island but let me play this game. The day we made a deal in that room in the medical center, she let me feel that I was in charge. When she obeyed my every request, undressing for me and dancing and spreading her legs and letting me text her with meeting times, the good girl of Zion was playing her own fucking game. And fuck if this doesn’t make me feel like a complete idiot.

No, I’m not calm anymore. I’m fucking pissed. And I’m upset. And I feel defeated. And most of all, tricked.

And she’s still staring at me intensely. I’m sure she can see everything in my eyes, and I almost expect her to start laughing in my face.

She rises slowly from the couch and calmly looks at Archer. “I have to go to work. Now that the news is out, I don’t need to be here for your discussion. Let me know later what the plan is.”

Archer throws a puzzled look at Katura, who chews on the inside of her cheek as she watches Maddy walking toward the door.

I always had a plan. Knew where I was heading. But when she showed up in my life, my internal compass went haywire, then pointed at her, then spun wildly, but inevitably pointed at her again. I never did drugs. Who needs drugs when you have a woman screwing with your sanity? Ups. Downs. Making you happy one minute, then sending mixed signals the next.

Right now, I don’t quite understand what’s happening. My internal compass is spinning out of control, making me dizzy as I try really hard not to blow up. I seldom lose my composure, but it’s happening. My legs feel like jelly as I get up slowly. I’m dizzy, and I don’t look around because I’m sure everyone is watching my reaction.

“Excuse me for a minute,” I hear myself say as I walk toward the door.

Maddy is right outside, and despite the guards watching us, I catch her by the arm and walk her to the side of the building, then pin her with her back against the wall.

I’m trying really hard not to say something mean as I set my hands against the wall on each side of her.

God, can someone be calmer than Maddy who raises her eyes at me without a single word while I feel like my body is turning into an inferno?

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